Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Teaching your older brother an ancient form of meditation sacred to a line of assassins be like…
Damian: I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind.
Jason: Okay.
Damian: Embrace nothingness.
Jason: You got it.
Damian: Become like an uncarved stone.
Jason: Done.
Damian: Todd! You’re just pretending to know what I’m talking about!
Jason: True.
Damian: -Tt- It’s very frustrating!
Jason: I’ll bet.
Mornings at the Batcave…
Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?
Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*
Jason: *groans* No. Why?
Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –
Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
When Tim met Damian (an alternative version)…
Damian: *spots Tim sleeping by the Batcomputer* -Tt-
Damian: *nudges him* Wake up.
Tim: *wide-eyed and looking around the Batcave in a panic*
Tim: *wiping slobber off his face* Who in the world are you?
Damian: I’m your new brother.
Tim: Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
But you do understand how Robins work, right?
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *scurrying around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, looking under kitchen counters and chairs*
Tim: *typing on his laptop, drinking pure liquid caffeine*
Jason: I have to tell you something. When we fell on really hard times, Roy and I stayed at a rat-infested motel for a month, and I developed a deep-seated fear of rats.
Tim: *not looking away from laptop* I am so sorry to hear about that. I understand your fears and I validate them.
Jason: I’m not looking for your understanding, Tim! Just grab the freakin’ rat!
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
#about me
Imagine: Damian to Dick.
Also, I’m just amused that they’re both now part of the DC Universe (Ben as young Jim Gordon and Adam as adult Freddy Freeman).
Great Horned Owl’s broad, but short wings make them surprisingly maneuverable during flight.
Imagine: Batman, to a burglar who foolishly thought he’d get away with it in Gotham.
(Also, just a really awesome clip.)
We all have that one brother…
Nightwing: *redialling Red Hood’s number for the sixteenth time in a row* Why isn’t he picking up?
Red Robin: Because he’s a jerk. Not breaking news.
Jason: Half? Half, @sunflower-is-wilted ?
Jason: *laughs hysterically*
Jason: *wipes joyful tears off his eyes*
Jason: Half. *shakes his head, chuckling*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 