Mission up in the Himalayan Mountains…
Red Robin: I’m feeling perfectly warm.
Red Hood: That’s because you’re like a little Komodo dragon. An ice queen.
Red Robin: Or because I remembered to wear my thermal underwear.
Red Hood: I’ll give you $50 for it right now.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
new day, new mission, still confused
Imagine: The Signal and Orphan receiving mission instructions from Batman.
After contacting Red Hood while strapped upside-down to a ticking time bomb…
Batman (Dick) [to Robin]: Great. Our fate rests in our black sheep of a brother who’s just broken out of the prison we sent him to. I’m sure he’s just leaping to help.
Someone: Woah! You know Batman?
Red Hood: I’m familiar with his work, yes.
On his first night at Wayne Manor…
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow will be different. It has to be.
I will smile and it will be believable. My smile will say, “I’m fine. Thank you. Yes. Much better”.
I will no longer be the boy who lost his parents. I will start fresh. Be someone new. It’s the only way I’ll make it through.
– Dick
Batman: *enters the Batcave, half-naked in a singed and tattered Batsuit*
Batman: *heads directly to the Batcomputer, limping, dripping blood on the ground*
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Alfred:
Red Hood: Did you get in a tickle fight with Edward Scissorhands?
Entering Robin’s room be like…
Jason: *whispering* It’s quiet.
Tim: *hissing* Of course it’s quiet. It’s a trap.
Damian: *a pair of narrowed eyes in the shadows*
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *whistling while turning on the stove and beating eggs in a bowl*
Red Robin: *comes in through the kitchen window, bruised, tattered, and dripping blood*
Red Robin: Jay! I lost Damian! What am I going to do?!
Jason: Uhhhh. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. *looks around the kitchen in panic* Know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make you an omelet.
Red Robin: Just help me look for him!
Jason: Are you sure? I make ‘em with four kinds of cheese.
Damian [on the Comm Link]: Todd, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
Red Hood: *reloading his guns while hiding behind barrels as bullets whizz past him* Uh, isn’t this the kind of thing Alfred’s better at?
Damian: I called him. He’s not home. I also tried Father, Grayson, Drake, Brown, Thomas, and the Commissioner, Barbara’s father.
Red Hood: *twisting a criminal’s arm and throwing another across the wall* Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*
Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.
Tim: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Not. One. Word.
Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*
Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.
Tim: We didn’t say anything!
Damian: Not one word!
Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 