Robin: *walks into the Batcave*
Red Hood: Hey, Bruce, is it Bring-Your-Brat-to-Work Day?
Red Robin: Yeah, one of those things wandered in here.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Damian: *building a LEGO Death Star*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: *yelling* Drake! I need your help!
Tim: In your room? You’re letting me go into your room?!
Black Mask: I had no idea that the infamous Red Hood could be bought.
Red Hood: For a quarter of a billion dollars, not only can I be bought, you can gift-wrap me, too.
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
When you’re just really homesick…
Dick: I just had a major epiphany. You know my lease is almost up, right? Well, I’ve been thinking, “Dick, it’s time you moved on in your life as a man”. It’s not just about me anymore.
Barbara: I think that’s a very mature thought, Hunk Wonder.
Dick: So you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna move back in with Bruce.
Red Robin: *snoring loudly with half of his body sticking out of the Redbird and saliva running down his jaw*
Nightwing: How many sleeping pills did you give Tim?
Red Hood: I don’t know. Seven? Twelve?
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
Barbara: I don’t know how you guys live with yourselves.
Dick: *grins* One day at a time.
Jason: *scoffs* One day at a time.
Tim: *yawns* One day at a time.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *picks up the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *doing pull-ups using the kitchen chandelier*
Alfred: *tugs at Dick’s feet to get him off the chandelier*
Tim: *typing furiously on his laptop, eyes narrowed with concentration*
Jason: *pours a fifth shot of espresso into Tim’s mug*
Damian: *picks bacon off Jason’s plate and feeds it to Alfred the Cat*
Bruce: *puts down the newspaper, buries his face in a hand and shakes his head*
Bruce: Just one question, boys. Do you get pleasure out of humiliating your family?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I’d say stick to the Business Section, Bruce, but I guess it’s kind of hard to avoid the headlines, huh?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 