Red Hood: *leans on a wall and slides down into a cross-legged, sitting position*
Red Hood: *checks his watch, sighs, puts down his binoculars and taps a foot impatiently against the rooftop floor*
Red Hood: *takes out his phone, opens incorrect-batfamily-quotes on Tumblr and scrolls through the “big brother of the year” tag*
Red Hood: *chuckles* I would totally do that. *browses* Yup, Timbo needs to sleep. *checks out the comments* That’s… nice. *looks to the sky as if he could use it to talk to someone from another Earth* Thanks… whoever you are. *scrunches his nose* And apparently… there’s a lot of you who think that I’m not too bad…
Red Hood: *gets up in a half a second flat, guns drawn*
Red Robin: *holding his hands up in surrender* Relax, relax. It’s just me.
Black Bat: *soundlessly stepping out of a dark corner* And me.
Nightwing: *hanging upside down and covering the eyeholes on Jason’s helmet* Aaaaand your favorite older brother.
Red Hood: *peeling Dick’s blue-striped fingers off* Look, I don’t give a bat’s butt what the old man said, I’m taking this case –
Robin: *jumps down from behind a gargoyle and throws his hands up in frustration* What took you so long, Todd?! This whole day has been wasted waiting for you!
Red Hood: – gonna freakin’ bring down those lowlives who took Kori no matter what it – Wait, wait. What exactly is going on here?
Nightwing: *smiling excitedly* There is no case, Little Wing.
Red Hood: I don’t –
Spoiler: *swings in from a nearby rooftop*Is he here?Did he buy –Oh, hey, Jay! Starfire’s giggling her orange-y, little head off watching you right now. *points to a hidden camera in a crevice*
Red Hood: WHAT? But the leads –
Red Robin: Were made up. I hacked into your personal satellite. Sent some signals here and there, bada-bing-bada-boom.
Red Hood: How is all this even – I can’t – How’d you guys get past me?
Batgirl: *rappelling from the Batjet with Duke* Because we helped them, duh. It was the only way to get you to come here today.
Red Hood: *takes his helmet off and rubs his face in utter confusion* I followed those leads for three weeks! I mean, Artemis and Bizarro –
Artemis: *lands on the rooftop on Bizarro’s back, shrugs and hands her sword to Damian, who greedily grabs it* Just pretended to be pissed that you had to leave for your “mission”.
Bizarro: We not sad Red Him gone!
The Signal: So does he mean he was or… ?
Red Hood: If this is some kind of *doing air-quotation marks* intervention, you tell that arrogant, self-righteous, emotionally –
Batman: – inept, leather-clad furry that it won’t work.
Red Hood:
Batman: I’d like to give it a try anyway.
Red Hood: But we… we’re supposed to… we hate each other…
Batman: *grins and ruffles Jason’s hair* Hn. Don’t believe everything you read, kid.
Red Hood: *grins sheepishly back*
The Signal: *looks around for secret passageways on the rooftop and whispers to Tim* Where’d the boss even come from?
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: *clears his throat loudly* If you’re all quite finished, the rest of your family and friends – *muffled* Mr. Harper, once again, that vase is a family heirloom and was never intended for target practice – are waiting.
Batman: Let’s get you home.
Red Hood: Right. I’m starving.
Alfred: Please do hurry up. The candles can only stay up for so long.
Red Hood: Why can’t you just get Timbo or the Brat to do this with you?
Nightwing: Because @wingedskyes said that we were their favorite, Jay, so we can’t disappoint! *wiggles eyebrows and grins*
Red Hood: *exhasperated sigh*
Nightwing: Plus, Timmy hasn’t slept in three days and Dami’s… Well, I don’t even want to know what he’d do if I so much as suggested this to him.
Red Hood: Well, yeah, fine, but why this, though? What if I just spelled their name out on the wall with bullets in thirty seconds flat, huh? That might be impressive.
Nightwing: Yeah, but Alfred would ground us for life. Now, could you bend your back just a liiiittle bit more –
Red Hood: Hey, newsflash, Goldie, on this Earth I didn’t grow up all flexible like you –
Nightwing: Or maybe you could –
Red Hood: I swear, D, you twist my arm one more time –
Alfred: *walks into the Manor’s gymnastics room with @wingedskyes in tow*
Alfred: *stares stoically at Dick and Jason, whose bodies are contorted to spell out “W” and “S” atop a balancing beam*
Nightwing: *smiling proudly*Ta-daaa!
Red Hood: *loses his footing and falls to the floor*
Red Hood: *groaning* Ta-daAaa…
Alfred: *looks at the boys, then at @wingedskyes *
Alfred: Dinner will be served shortly. Don’t be late. *walks out*
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