Visiting your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
Jason: *takes a sip* Mmm. What kind of tea is this?
Dick: *wearing the same blood- and milk-stained shirt for the third day in a row* Oh, I boiled some Gatorade.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Red Hood: *gets off the phone*
Artemis: Duty calls?
Red Hood: Worse. Batman.
Red Hood [to Red Robin and Robin]: The two of you agreeing with each other? Now, that’s scary.
Patrol gone awry…
Robin: *angrily stomps into the Batcave*
Red Robin: *wearily takes off his combat boots*
Red Hood: *has a leather jacket tug-of-war with Ace the Bathound*
Nightwing: So… What happened out there?
Robin: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Douche over there.
Nightwing: Who’re they?
Red Robin and Robin: They’re both Jason.
Jason: *helmet off and smiling sheepishly*
When your detective of a father asks you and your brothers what happened to the Batmobile…
Bruce [to Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian]: *narrows eyes*
Bruce: Usually, when everything’s normal, people don’t respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.
Red Robin: If you can’t beat ‘em, drone ‘em.
–
Too soon?
“Too soon?” *glances at Batman, who’s sobbing silently in a dark corner of the room* Yeah, probably.
Bruce trying out a new parenting strategy…
Bruce: *reading the newspaper* Well, good morning, David.
Damian: David?
Bruce: I know you’re not my well-behaved son, Damian, who’d never take the Batmobile out without a license and get arrested.
When your brothers are all set to go Trick-or-Treating but you’re still on the Batcomputer working on a case…
Dick (in a merman costume): Timmy… ?
Jason (in a Bizarro costume): He’s wearing a costume. He’s going as lame.
Skimming the local newspaper to investigate a crime be like…
Batman: Have any of you found anything suspicious?
Red Hood: Yeah, actually. A citizen wrote in. He said that “Gotham City is great!”.
Tim: *walks in on Dick and Jason excitedly discussing the previous night’s events*
Tim: *wiping dried-up drool off from his face and onto his coffee-stained pajamas*
Tim: What party?
Jason: Aw. The two saddest words in the English language.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 