Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *following Tim around the kitchen* Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Tim: *slapping his hand away* Stop smelling my hair, dude!
Jason: Do you know how much that stuff costs?
Tim: I didn’t use your conditioner, Jay!
Jason: Then why does your hair look so baby soft?!
Alfred: *sighs*
Alfred: *adds “conditioner” to grocery list*
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Red Hood [to thug]: I bark.
Red Hood: That kid there, see him? *points to Robin*
Red Hood: He bites.
Jason: *shoves Tim out of his room and shuts the door behind them* You invaded my privacy. I have a right to be upset, okay?
Tim: It’s not snooping if something is out in the open. That’s the rule.
Jason: There’s no rule.
Tim: Are you serious? “If it’s not hidden, it’s not forbidden.” You’ve never heard of that?
Jason: No, I’ve never heard of it because you just made it up.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
So he saw the little Bizarro plushie on your bed (or was it the pair of Batman boxers under it?). So what? It’s adorable, Jay!
When you call for back-up but end up battling a bunch of rogues by yourself…
Medic [speaking into the radio]: He’s lost a lot of blood.
Red Hood: I didn’t lose it. I’ve been sitting in it for hours, waiting for one of my brothers to get back from dance class or something. *stands up and drags himself to his motorcycle, leaving a trail of blood behind him*
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Warehouse: *explodes*
Red Robin: *watches as debris slowly fall into the Gotham Harbor*
Red Hood: *looks at Tim questioningly*
Red Robin: Bruce’s not going to say anything because we’re not going to tell him.
Red Hood: We’re not?
Red Robin: No, we’re not.
Red Hood: Alright. I like that.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Because Tim would totally propose this and Jason would totally agree.
Tim: *mumbling while walking out of the kitchen*
Dick:
Dick: Did Timmy say something weird again?
Jason: *without looking up from the newspaper he’s reading* When does he not?
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Paintball war at the Manor…
Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?
Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.
Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!
Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.
Nightwing: *singing NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye”*
Robin: *abruptly hits the Batmobile brakes*
Nightwing: *slumps back into the passenger seat and takes an earphone out of his ear*
Robin: You know what I find annoying?
Nightwing: Me?
Robin: *grabs Dick’s earphones, chucks them out of the window, and floors the gas pedal* Yes.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 