Closet full of Batsuits…
Bruce: Yeah, I know it’s sexy, Alfred, that’s why I made ten. Now, arrange those by color.
Alfred: These are all black.
Bruce: Oh, are they? Or are five in a dark black, and five in a slightly darker black?
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Family Patrol Night…
Nightwing and Red Robin: *watching Red Hood “interrogate” a criminal*
Nightwing: Uhhh… I think Jason may have snapped.
Red Robin: Or maybe he’s just stuck in character.
Nightwing: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Red Robin: Both. They’re both worse.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Someone rescue that thug.
Post-traning session at the Manor…
Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*
Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*
Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*
Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Maybe he’s trying to keep you from sneaking out and going to Kent Farm at 3 AM again? *shrugs*
Why you think twice before trolling the World’s (Second) Greatest Detective…
Tim: What have you done with my report?
Jason: I’ve hidden it. To find it, you’ll need to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish than –
Tim: Got it!
Jason: D’oh!
Batman: *narrows eyes* Now, what are you up to?
Red Hood: Whatever happened to “hi”?
Batman: Hi. Now, what are you up to?
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
When asked why he hasn’t started dating yet…
Jason: You see how picky I am about my guns, and those only go on my holsters.
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