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Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
At the Wayne Manor attic…
Dick: *dramatically walks out from behind a dusty, old cabinet wearing his 80’s Nightwing suit*
Jason: *clears his throat loudly*
Tim: *standing absolutely still but with shoulders shaking*
Damian: *jaw drop*
Duke: *eyes wide, covering his mouth*
Dick: You guys think I’m some sort of a joke!
Jason, Tim, Damian, and Duke: *break into a fit of laughter*
Jason: *wiping tears off his eyes* This isn’t disproving that theory.
Recounting his recent encounter with Superman…
Red Hood: So, I pulled a gun on him.
Batman: *glares*
The rest of the Batfamily: *jaw drop*
Red Hood: What? You guys know I do that from time to time.
Jason: *shakes head* Why are you like this?
Tim: *wearing a cowboy hat and riding on the giant dinosaur’s head in the Batcave* Caffeine, baby!
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
Red Hood: We’re trying to piece together a night and we need your help.
“Ric” Grayson: I don’t remember that night.
Red Robin: We didn’t tell you which night yet.
“Ric”: *shrugs* I don’t remember most evenings.
Robin: *exasperated sigh*
Why it sometimes takes forever for Batman’s sons to finish their meals (much to Alfred’s chagrin)…
Robin: *staring at a utensil on the dining table* All of my instincts and my training are telling me to use this like a weapon.
– • – • – • – • –
This is me going out on a limb here and assuming that this family still takes the time to eat.
When your grandsons, in an effort to step out of their father’s shadow, get an apartment of their own…
Nightwing’s uniform: *splayed on the couch along with Dick’s hair products and smelly socks*
Red Hood’s weapons: *lying in wait for someone to accidentally trip on them*
Red Robin’s coffee: *spilled all over the dining table – which also doubles as Tim’s makeshift bed – and his laptop*
Robin’s pets: *walking in and out of the bathroom, soaking wet*
Alfred: *looking around with a deadpan-but-clearly disappointed look on his face*
Alfred: *clears his throat as he steps over a fallen garbage can on the floor*
Alfred: Who washes the dishes?
Jason: *defensively raising his hands in front of his face* Nobody washes the dishes! We eat the food directly off the coffee table and you know it!
Nightwing: I haven’t seen you for a month, B, and I’m standing here in a neck brace. You gonna ask how I’m doing or what happened or… ?
Batman: *not looking up from the Batcomputer* I assume you did something stupid.
In the Batmobile, heading home…
Batman: How long until we intercept Alfred?
Nightwing: Three minutes.
Batman: We run every red light.
Meanwhile, at the Manor…
Alfred: *preparing to make the dreaded cucumber sandwiches as a post-patrol snack *
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
To learn more about these “cukewiches”, check out Trinity (2008) #10 and Batman (2016) #16.
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