Alfred: You stole a baby, Master Bruce?
Batman: Only for a few seconds. As it turns out, just because you put a Bat symbol on something, it doesn’t mean you get to keep it.
Alfred: Yes. I think babies have to be notarized.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
When asked what his relationship with his adoptive father was like…
Red Hood: Batman and I hardly speak. We’re like oil and… What’s that thing that always disappoints oil? Oh, yeah, it’s me.
Damian: Perhaps my kindergarten tutor was right. Perhaps I am too controlling.
Nightwing [about Batman]: When he does care, he cares one hundred and crazy percent.
Raising the Robins…
Bruce: Alfred, I know he’s a teenager, but is he suppose to hate me this fast?
Post-patrol…
Alfred: Master Richard, your jaw could be broken.
Nightwing: It’s not broken, Alf. I’ve been punched before.
Red Hood: *smirks* Ex-girlfriends don’t count.
Reporting to Batman after patrol…
Batman: *glaring*
Red Hood: *making popping noises with his mouth*
Batman: *GLARING*
Red Hood: Hey, nobody exploded. For me, that’s a pretty good night.
Bruce and Dick: *arguing in the Batcave*
Tim [to Alfred]: Is it weird that I find the sound of their bickering comforting?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Because bickering means their family’s on speaking terms, safe for now, still alive.
Batmobile: *screeches to a halt in front of Selina’s apartment building*
Bruce: *comes out in a partially unbottoned dress shirt and a skewed necktie, holding a bouquet of petal-less roses*
Selina:
Bruce: *grins sheepishly*
Selina: What use is a jet-powered vehicle with missle launchers if it can’t get you to a dinner reservation on time?
Jason: Yeah, Timbo?
Tim: I’m not talking to you.
Jason: Oh. Who are you talking to?
Tim: Kon.
Jason: *looks around the room*
Jason: Uh. He’s not here, Timmy…
Tim: No. He’s not.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Super hearing and super friendship. Duh, Jay.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 