Jon: *observing Bruce, who’s talking to Dick* Is that your dad?
Damian: Both of them, yes.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
At a Justice League mission briefing…
Batman: Any questions?
Red Hood: *yelling from the back* Why’re you such a poopy head?
Red Robin [whispering to Superboy]: That’s why he gets timeouts.
Tim: Dick, we have a problem.
Dick: Guys, I am not your mother, so don’t come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn’t like.
Tim: I’m telling you, he’s crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.
Damian: No, I didn’t.
Tim: Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t threaten to cut my hair off and give it to Ra’s as a birthday present?
Damian: You know, Drake, I think you’re taking my words a little out of context.
Tim: What?! What context?!
Damian: Drake, you don’t think I’m condescending, do you?
Tim: *clears throat* Well…
Damian: Oh, I’m sorry. “Condescending” means –
Tim: I know what it means. And, yes, you like to correct people and put them down.
Damian: Au contraire. When I correct people, I’m raising them up. You should know. I do it for you more than anyone else.
Steph: I’m just a blonde monkey to you, aren’t I?
Damian: You said it, not me.
When your little brother leaves you in charge of his pets while he’s away on a Teen Titans mission…
Red Hood: *strokes Titus behind the ears* Classy dog.
Robin: Yes. Also, don’t forget to close the toilet or he’ll drink out of it.
Red Hood [to Titus]: *whispering* I feel for ya, big buddy. I have a crazy father figure, too.
Superboy: So, why do you put up with Damian?
Red Robin: Because we’re brothers.
Superboy: Why?
Red Robin: Wow. You ask really hard questions.
Infiltrating a top secret government facility…
Red Hood: Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Robin: Grayson told me to stay.
Red Hood: Oh.
Red Hood: *pats his head* Well, good boy.
Tim: *sobbing on the couch*
Damian: *pushes Tim, forcing him to scoot over, and grabs the remote*
Tim: I’m sorry, is the fact that my life’s falling apart interfering with your TV show?
Damian: *tunes in to Animal Planet*
Damian: *munching on popcorn* It is.
When you’ve got some serious “street cred” to protect…
Jason: What?! I am not a crybaby.
Tim: “Toy Story 3”?
Jason: They were holding hands in a furnace, Tim!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 