Closet full of Batsuits…
Bruce: Yeah, I know it’s sexy, Alfred, that’s why I made ten. Now, arrange those by color.
Alfred: These are all black.
Bruce: Oh, are they? Or are five in a dark black, and five in a slightly darker black?
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
“Battle for the Cowl” AU be like…
Tim: You know what, Dick? You shouldn’t be making these decisions anyway, okay? You’re not the decision-making type. As the brains of this family, I should have made this decision.
Dick: Hey, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry. Since when did you become the brains?
Tim: Uhh… I’m sorry? I’ve always been the brains.
Dick: What?! What are you talking about? I thought I was the brains. What the heck am I?
Tim: You’re the looks.
Dick: Well, yeah, of course I’m the looks. But I always thought of myself as the brains and the looks.
Tim: No, you’re the looks, I’m the brains, and Jason is the wildcard.
When an alien trying to take over the Earth lands in Gotham City…
Red Hood: *jumps over cars and debris to get to the alien ship*
Red Robin: What’re you gonna do, Hood?
Red Hood: Show it what a real monster looks like.
Running after a criminal who turns out to be a speedster be like…
Red Hood: If I were to speculate from your labored breathing…
Red Robin: I lost her.
Red Hood: That would be it.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*
Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*
Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*
Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*
Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*
Tim: *feeling ‘er up* Ever since yesterday, I can’t stop thinking about you. I mean, I’ve known you practically the whole summer. I want you. I want you so bad.
Steph: Tim, it’s a car.
Jason: *pulls Steph aside* Let’s just leave these two kids alone.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Yup. Newly customized Redbird from Foxteca just arrived at the Manor.
Red Robin [on the comm link]: *hacking into the security cameras of the warehouse to keep an eye out for Jason* You’re in danger.
Red Hood: *dodging a samurai sword from behind him by a half an inch* Thanks, buddy. I just figured that out.
Watching as a Godzilla-like creature terrorizes Gotham City…
Nightwing: *lighting up his escrima sticks* What do you give for our odds? About 50-50?
Red Hood: *doing a mental inventory of the explosives in his suit* That’s what I like about you, Dick. You’re an optimist.
Post-mission debriefing…
Red Hood:
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Red Hood: Who can blame me for having a little fun? 🤷♂
Nightwing: I can.
Red Robin: Me, too.
Robin: -Tt-
Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?
Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 