At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Woman 1 [referring Bruce Wayne’s ward “Richie” Grayson]: He’s smoother than a baby’s bottom!
Woman 2: And he smells better, too!
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Batman: *growling* Jason! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
Red Hood: *climbing up another wall* What a coincidence, Bruce! I’ve been avoiding you everywhere.
Jason: *takes a sip from Tim’s mug*
Jason [to Tim]: This coffee is intense! Did you hit it with a flamethrower?
He can’t tell anymore, Jay. All that coffee has probably burned off the nerve endings in his mouth.
Trying to eavesdrop on Bruce and Alfred be like…
Dick and Jason: *peering through a vent in the Manor*
Dick: They’ve been in there a while.
Jason: Yep.
Dick: Can’t be good.
Jason: Nope.
Dick: Think they’re talking about me?
Jason: No, I think they’re talking about me.
Dick: Yeah. That makes way more sense.
Alfred and Bruce talking about dinner plans until they realize someone was listening in on them through the vents:
Bruce: They’ve been in there a while.
Alfred: They certainly have.
Bruce: Can’t be good.
Alfred: Of course it isn’t, Master Bruce.
Bruce: Think they’re conspiring against us?
Alfred: No, sir, I suppose they are planning on getting some blackmail material on you.
Bruce: Yeah. That makes sense.
Batman: The police found spare bullets all over the crime scene, and I thought to myself, “Yes, that would be my son, Jason”.
Red Hood: So, you’re not mad at me?
Red Hood: *holding an unconscious criminal by the scruff of the neck as a government facility explodes behind them*
Batman: *glaring*
Red Hood: I got the guy. The least you can do is fist bump me or something.
When you team up with your brother to catch one of the most elusive criminal masterminds in the world…
Red Hood: You were very good out there.
Red Robin: And you were very Jason.
When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…
Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*
Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing: Um…
Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*
Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*
Nightwing: So…
Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!
Nightwing: Never give up. That’s what I always tell my friends. They tell me to stop telling them, but I tell them I can’t because that would be giving up.
What people think Batman thinks about when he’s lying down on his king-sized bed all alone in the wee hours of the morning after patrol while staring at the ceiling: JUSTICE.
What he really thinks about: How can I know so much about the bonds of chemicals yet so little about the bonds of friendship?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 