Grumpy Old Man Bruce Wayne: I will leave my children $50 a piece. Enough for the cab ride home from the funeral and a steak dinner. End of discussion.
That is, if you don’t outlive your kids, Batman.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Tim: Aaaarrrggh, you are such a sore loser, Damian!
Damian: I am not a sore loser, Drake. It’s just that I prefer to win, and when I don’t, I get furious.
Traditions be like…
Jason: … And every year, Roy and I would dress up as trolls and egg Tim’s safe house.
Tim: That was you?!
Damian: Please, Drake, this is a private conversation.
Jason: *doing wheelies, stoppies, and burnouts*
Jason: *jumps while his motorcycle’s mid-air, does a backflip, then gets back on and lands gracefully in front of Tim*
Tim: *sips coffee* This morning I saw a YouTube video of a puppy riding a motorcycle, so my bar for stunning is pretty high.
When Batman’s friends can’t help but remember how young his crimefighting children are…
Superman: How old are you again?
Red Hood: He’s 17 *points to Red Robin* and I’m 19/immortal.
No, no, wait… Come to think of it, the whole Batfamily’s basically /immortal.
When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…
Superman: So… ?
Batman: *stares off into the distance*
Superman: Um, Bruce… ?
Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*
Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.
When Batman’s friends can’t help but remember how young his crimefighting children are…
Superman: How old are you again?
Red Hood: He’s 17 *points to Red Robin* and I’m 19/immortal.
There’s always that one son during fancy dinners at luxurious Gotham City restaurants…
Jason [to waiter]: I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.
Bruce: *groans*
Artemis: Your family has made you a more patient and empathetic person, Jason.
Red Hood: You take that back!
Oh, come on now. You know you wuuuvs ‘em, Jay.
When your eldest brother gives you advice on how to deal with your nasty youngest one…
Tim: I’m perfectly civil, Dick! He’s the stupid, garbage-head, doodoo-face!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 