Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes

Mornings at the Manor…

Damian: *walks into the kitchen and sees Tim splayed on the kitchen counter, bruised and bloodied, and in a singed Red Robin uniform*

Damian: Pennyworth, do we have to put the trash on the counter? I take my afternoon tea here.

At Red Hood’s safe house…

Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*

Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!

Tim: *walks in on Dick and Jason excitedly discussing the previous night’s events*

Tim: *wiping dried-up drool off from his face and onto his coffee-stained pajamas*

Tim: What party?

Jason: Aw. The two saddest words in the English language.

Dick and Barbara: *watching Damian jump from one gigantic memento to another in the Batcave*

Barbara: He is kind of adorable.

Dick: I know! Isn’t he? Remember when Jason was like this?

Jason: What the heck do you people say when I’m not here?

Alfred: *cutting off Dick’s atrocious ponytailed hair*

Tim: *walks into the Batcave, wiping the sleep from his eyes*

Tim: *yawns* What’s going on, Alfred? Are we poor?

Nah. He just didn’t have enough patience to bring your brother all the way to the barber, Timmy. The tail had to go.

Jason: Let me tell you about a little innovation called “Netflix”. You’ll never miss another movie again.

Tim: Really?

Jason: I swear. You pick a film on your computer. Three days later, there’s a disc in your mailbox. You gotta stay up with technology, Timbo!

Tim: Gee. Thanks.

Jason: *cockily walks away*

Tim [to Dick]: Can you believe he doesn’t know about streaming? If I ever get that out of touch, kill me.

That’s what being in a coffin for a long time can do to you, Timmy.

Wayne Manor, 3 AM…

Dick: *teary-eyed, sniffling, and sneezing*

Dick: *heads to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of milk*

Dick: *pauses when he hears swift, clicking sounds*

Dick: *thinks to himself, “WTF?!”, and grabs an escrima stick from a secret compartment behind the refrigerator*

Dick: *wipes his nose with the back of his hand and prepares to pounce on the silhouette by the breakfast table*

Dick: aaaaaAAAHHH –

Tim: *swivels around, dead-eyed and on his sixty-fourth cup of coffee*

Tim: I typed your symptoms on my laptop here. And it says you could have Network Connectivity Problems.

@prison-mikes-bandana, an updated version. Haha.

“Robin War” be like…

Robin [to Duke and the other wannabe Robins]: Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Robins.

Said the tiny, thirteen-year-old bird.