When your best friend has been noticeably more aggressive with criminals during patrol…
Superman: Bruce, I know you’re angry –
Batman: My son is dead. Angry doesn’t begin to cover it.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Alfred: The more kids the merrier.
Bruce: Be careful what you say, Alfred. You might give me ideas.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Nightwing: I’m going to hug you.
Batman: Thank you for the warning.
When Batman grounds your older brother…
Robin: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Red Hood: *whistles “Call Me Maybe” while putting his newly cleaned guns away*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: *resumes working*
Red Hood: *slides across the cave on a chair with wheels, making screeching sounds*
Robin: Hrrrn. *clenching his teeth*
Red Hood: Hey, Little D –
Robin: Todd, if I must babysit you, you become a hindrance and I can’t have that.
And that is why Bruce came home to see Jason gagged and tied to the giant Joker card.
When Damian approaches post-pubescence…
Bruce: I’m just trying to prepare him.
Dick: For what, therapy?
Maybe let your eldest son handle “the birds and the bees” talk, Bruce?
Mission briefing…
Red Robin: Understood?
Nightwing: *double thumbs up*
Robin: *salutes*
Red Hood: *turns off Spotify streaming in his helmet*
Red Hood: Okay, I’m just nodding here and pretending like I have some idea of what you’re talking about.
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: This is a black kale-chia smoothie.
Jason: Why are you drinking that? Did you lose a bet or something?
Tim: Do you have an infected lesion?
In which Damian takes his breakfast elsewhere.
Alfred: *staring at the grandfather clock concealing the entrance to the Batcave*
Alfred: 10:47. Why would you want to be reminded of the moment when everything ended, Master Bruce?
Bruce: Because it didn’t.
Dick: Look, I had my moments of being out of control growing up as Robin. There, you know, I said it! I just don’t want my brothers to make the same bad mistakes that I made. If Damian never wakes up half-naked on a rooftop in Metropolis, I’ve done my job.
Bruce: Our job.
Dick: Right. I’ve done our job.
When you’re secretly feeling insecure because your kids seem to prefer being with their Kryptonian uncle over you…
Batman: *all up in Superman’s space* Because I’m a cool dad, Clark.
Batman: That’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my Grodd. WTF: why the face.
In which Bruce forgot that his Comm Link was still on, earning him a collective groan from said kids.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 