Batman: Stay with Tim.
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: One doesn’t stay “with” Drake. One stays “despite” him.
Red Robin: Look, Brat, I’m not thrilled either, but one day we might need each other for a transplant so we better keep the lines of communication going.
GCPD Officer: It’s time for a cavity search.
Red Hood: Oh, I haven’t had a cavity search in six months.
GCPD Officer: I wasn’t talking about your teeth.
Red Hood: Nor was I.
When Batman’s sons come over to your city and you hear about it at work…
Lois: Hey, Smallville. There are a few developments. You might want to make some room on the front page.
Clark: *raises an eyebrow*
No need to worry, Superman. It’s just your nephews wreaking havoc on some Gotham City criminals who thought they could hide out in Metropolis.
That one time Superman’s wish to ride the Batmobile was granted…
Bruce: You have so much in common with Dick.
Clark: 😀
Bruce: Non-stop chatter during drives.
Clark: 😐
Tim: Alfred, may I go?
Alfred: Is your room clean?
Tim: Um… No.
Alfred: Good. That will give me something to do while you’re with the Teen Titans.
What would these kids do without their grandad?
Robin: *sneaking out of the Manor at midnight*
Jason: *turns a lamp on*
Jason: *sitting in the dark with his legs crossed and a novel on his lap* Where are you going, Brat?
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: I don’t know.
Jason: When will you be home?
Robin: I’m not sure.
Jason: Where are you going?
Robin: You already asked me that, Todd!
Jason: Will you bring me back something?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
This is why you’re secretly Dami’s favorite older brother sometimes, Jay.
Batman’s twilight years be like…
Tim: Bruce, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you.
Bruce: Hn. Dick, just because you’re ten feet tall, it doesn’t mean that you can tell me what to do.
Jason: I’m Jason.
Tim: Gimme those!
Damian: Todd, I’m starting to worry about Father.
Jason: Well, I know he seems to get more broody ever year, but lately he’s plateaued.
Alfred: You must be at Damian’s piano recital, Master Bruce! You’ve missed way too many precious moments in the children’s lives.
Batman: Hn? Name twelve.
Batman: *climbs in through window with burns, bruises, and a tattered suit*
Batman: That was close.
Alfred: Speaking of close, Master Bruce, you are getting married in five minutes.
Yes, this is probably how Bruce and Selina’s wedding day is going to start.
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