Torn apart furniture. Food and some sort of ink (or is that blood?) smeared all over the walls and carpets. A scorched living room ceiling. Tim tries to explain what happened to a visiting Conner…
Tim: It would take hours to explain the psychology of this event, so I’ll just simplify.
Tim: *points at Damian* “Dynamite”.
Tim: *points at Jason* “Kid with matches”.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Jason [to Tim]: This is an official apology. I’m a horrible person and I’m sorry. What I did was horrible, even by our standards. And, let’s face it, we’ve set the bar very low.
Tim: I’m sick of you always having an edge just because you’re cruel and I’m smart and I’m concerned about consequences. I can be just as vicious and shortsighted as you!
Damian: Oh, yeah? *sarcastically* I’m really scared. Why don’t you just –
Damian: *realizes that his hand is stuck to his forehead *
Damian: *gritting his teeth* Drake, what did you do?
Tim: *holds up a tube of Super Glue* I sank to your level. And I have to say, it feels good.
When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
When asked what it was like being a teenaged vigilante…
Red Robin: Is there a word that means both complete self-satisfaction and complete self-loathing?
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Coronavirus in Gotham (Positive Headcanons for this trying time)
jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear:
- Bruce Wayne persuades the mayor to issue a city wide shutdown, while also taking a pay cut himself so he can donate money to
essentialemployees and those who had lost their jobs thanks to the virus.
- All grocery stores in Gotham hold “Senior Hours” for the first two hours of operation.
- Selina Kyle steals from the rich socialites and the donates the profits to medical community and those in need, including food and retail works left without a job.
- The Rogues all band together and put aside their differences, promising not to attack the city while on lock down. (a rare occurrence)
- Scarecrow donates several hundred N5 masks to Gotham Hospital, as well as using his sewing skills to make some fabric masks
- Mr. Freeze suspends his experiments to save Nora in order to help other scientists find a cure
- Penguin uses his underground influence to raise money for extra test kits
- Damian Wayne helps the animal shelters deal with abandoned pets. (People will dump their pets for fear of them getting the virus)
- Nightwing patrols the city at night, making sure people do not stay out past curfew and cause trouble
- Jason Todd volunteers at Gotham Hospital as security
- Batman visits children and elderly in the hospital, despite being at risk to get the virus. He comforts them and assures them they’ll be okay.
At the safe house…
Doorbell: *buzzes*
Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
Roy: How do you know?
Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.

Roy: *heads to the door* I’ll get it –
Jason: *holds him back and shushes him* No, no. Wait for it.
Doorbell: *buzz buzz … buzz buzz buzz*
Roy: What? Why? Might be the pizza.
Jason: Shh shh. Trust me.
Doorbell: *buzzzzz*
Roy: Jay –
Doorbell: *buuuuzzzz buzz buzz*
Jason: Hey, want some breakfast?
Roy: Dude, the door –
Jason: *grabs him and leads him to the kitchen* Come on, I’ll make pancakes.
~ ~ ~ 30 minutes later ~ ~ ~
Doorbell: *BUZZZZZZZZZ*
Jason: *chuckling* Ha. Knew it.
Roy: *burps* We’re really just gonna ignore that?
Jason: *wiping his mouth* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Let’s just say Jason wanted to hear everything Damian had to say first, @remakethestars .
Sometime during the “Under the Hood” story arc when all of Gotham City’s top criminals are cursing at him for ruining their operations…
Red Hood: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present: Man Not Caring.
Red Hood: *points at self*
