Bruce: *glances at the Bat Signal through the restaurant window* I’m sorry I have to cancel our date.
Selena: Now? You really have to work on your timing.
Plot twist: the signal’s on because Selina just stole something.
Haha! I was actually going to add something to that effect, that it actually had something to do with Catwoman. But I figured someone would figure. So this is cool.
Maybe about five minutes after Selena comes back from the “powder room”, the signal comes up.
*fist-bump*
Bruce: *glances at the Bat Signal through the restaurant window* I’m sorry I have to cancel our date.
Selena: Now? You really have to work on your timing.
Tim: *pokes Jason’s shoulder and breathes a sigh of relief* Whew… Okay, he’s fine. I’m fine.
Dick: Uh… Am I missing something?
Jason: *gritting his teeth* It was one time, Tim. One time. And I said I was sorry, dude! I thought you were kidding and I was playing Arkham Knight with Roy and…
Tim: *glares at him*
Jason: *muttering under his breath* … So you really don’t have to keep doing this every time you see me…
Tim: Oh, yeah? Just making sure you remember not to tell me you’re dead next time I’m corNERED BY A BUNCH OF ROGUES AND DESPERATE FOR BACK UP.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I think Jason’s starting to rethink that strategy, @heisnear .
Me [to @thepoolofthedead]: You know, that’s a, um, really convincing outfit. You sure this is a good idea? I mean we are in Gotham and –
thepoolofthedead: *shrugs*
Me: Let’s just, er, keep a low profile, maybe?
Roller skates: *slowing down to a stop in front of us*
Harley Quinn: *squeals from behind her sparkly face mask and holds out grabby hands* If it isn’t my precious Baby J! Okay, NOT to be mistaken for Mistah J, who freakin’ dumped me again! I mean, he just beat me to it! It was my turn – myyyyy turn – to dump his pale butt! *scoffs* Well, you know what, I don’t need him no more, no sireeeee! *pouts* But it got lonely in my apartment real fast… So, what’s a gal to do, right? Figured I’d roll around the streets for a while, find a pal or two… All my buddies refuse to get outta their “lairs” or whatever. Boo hoo! And I was, like, but aren’t we all doctors or somethin’? *lights up* In summary, how great is this? Who’s ya friend? Wanna hang out?
Batmobile: *screeches to a halt in front of us*
Batman [to us]: *rolls window on driver’s side down*Get in. Now.
Nightwing: *on the passenger side* Come on, guys, we’re on a tight schedule. Hey, Harley!
Harley Quinn: *cheerfully* Hey there, handsome!
Robin: *in the backseat, opens the door* Now. We still have to pass by for Drake. It’s gonna take a while to wake him up.
Batman: *narrows his eyes and clears his throat* Harleen.
Harley Quinn: Wha– *throws her hands up in exasperation, pouts, and moves a few inches away from thepoolofthedead* Ya happy now, Bats? Or do ya need to get a measuring stick to make sure I’m six feet away from ya kid?
Batman: Hrn. I told you, until that vaccine comes out of Wayne Enterprises R&D, I don’t want you near my children. Who knows what you’ve been touching.
Harley Quinn: *grins suggestively* Well, you do.
Batman: *grunts* Go home. And stay there. *proceeds to roll window up*
Harley Quinn: In case you haven’t noticed, Bats, I’m immune to most types of – *voice gets drowned out*
Batman: *tosses a Wayne Tech-grade disinfectant at us and activates the Batmobile’s air sterilization system*
Nightwing: *dialing Tim’s number* Alfred is gonna be pissssed. I already got, like, four missed calls. We’re gonna get schooled. Over Dinner. Again.
Robin: *narrows eyes at thepoolofthedead* New perfume, Todd?
Me [to thepoolofthedead]: *whispering*So, uh, should you tell ‘em or should I?
~ ~ ~ 1 hour later ~ ~ ~
Red Hood: *revving up his motorcycle and on the Comm Link* On the way, Alf! Just had to pick up some surgical masks from this supplier I know and drop it off at the Gotham Children’s Hospi– What do you mean I just ate?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 