Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*
Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*
Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine*
Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*
Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*
Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*
Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*
Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*
Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*
Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.
Alfred: *grins and walks away*
Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*
Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Batman: I just don’t want you to lie to me, Dick. I don’t want you to ever lie to me. Have I ever lied to you?
Nightwing: Yup. *with an extra pop on the ‘p’*
Batman:
Batman: I just don’t want you to.
Crashing at Red Robin’s Nest be like…
Red Hood: *wakes up with a start on the couch* Timbo? Timbo! Did I dream that you were crying throughout the night?
Tim: *with bags under his eyes and drinking coffee at 2 AM* No, that was real.
Damian: Who here has been the butt of a joke that has gone too far?
Tim: Brat, you make fun of us everyday.
Jason: Yeah. Every. Single. Day.
Damian: You never said anything.
Steph: Uh, we have. Countless times.
Damian: Well, it’s hard to tell the difference between you inferior people saying, “Stop! Because I want you to stop!” and “Stop!”, as in “Stop! You’re making making me laugh so hard! What you’re doing is so funny! You’re on a roll, I’m a busting a gut! Stoppp!”.
Jason, Tim, Steph: That’s never been the case.
Trying to save your son’s life be like…
Batman: I want to give you blood, Jason.
Red Hood: *at the medical bay in the Batcave and close to fainting* That’s really not the trend in vampires right now…
Post-traning session at the Manor…
Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*
Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*
Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*
Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.
Family Patrol Night…
Nightwing and Red Robin: *watching Red Hood “interrogate” a criminal*
Nightwing: Uhhh… I think Jason may have snapped.
Red Robin: Or maybe he’s just stuck in character.
Nightwing: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Red Robin: Both. They’re both worse.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Someone rescue that thug.
Discussing ways to win your father’s sympathy be like…
Red Hood: How about this: I throw a corpse dressed like me off the roof –
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
When Alfred leaves for a vacation…
Dick: *scouring the kitchen cabinets for cereal*
Jason: He left some snacks in the freezer for us.
Damian: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?
Jason: No, the blueberry slurpy pouch.
Tim [to Dick]: *rolls his eyes* He means the ice pack.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
They must’ve missed the note Alfie stuck on the freezer door: “Young masters, for when you are incapable of behaving yourselves and are in need something to put over your or your brother’s black eye.”
When the U.N. wants to publicly acknowledge your family’s contribution to saving the world…
Batman: I need you to promise me that you’ll be on your best behavior.
Red Hood: I kind of promised other people that I’d be on my worst behavior, and I gave ‘em my word, so…
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 