When you visit your eldest brother’s Blüdhaven apartment and ask him (authoritatively) to pick up after himself…
Damian: Why are you being a baby, Grayson?
Dick: I’m not a baby! I’m a grown man and I made my bed! Now where’s my Coco Crunch?
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *munching on strawberry-flavored Poptarts*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Jason: *waves a hand in front of his brother’s face*
Tim:
Jason: *snaps his fingers*
Tim:
Jason: *tips the big mug of coffee over, spilling its contents*
Tim: *slowly turns his head to face Jason*
Jason: You’re being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?
When a highly dangerous supervillain’s in town and your overprotective adoptive father orders you to “stay out of it”…
Nightwing: *noiselessly drops down from the ceiling in the middle of a heavily guarded warehouse*
Batman: *bruised, bloodied, bound to a metal contraption and on the verge of losing consciousness* D-Dick, what are you –
Nightwing: *disables the handcuffs* If you wanted a binding agreement, we should have pinky-sweared.
Batfather’s Day…
Batman: *opens a blood-stained greeting card with a bullet hole in the middle*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Did you see the hearts? It took me, like, six minutes.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Alfred gets teary-eyed from seeing the biggest grin he’s seen on his son’s face in years (and the card he himself got from his grandson).
Because it’s almost that time of the year.
Dick: I can’t believe Tim’s sleeping.
Jason: I had the Little Brat give him two Valiums.
Dick: Why? Was he in a lot of pain?
Jason: Nah. He just wouldn’t shut up.
After meeting Tim for the first time…
Dick: Bruce, you’ve already got two strikes on your record. You adopt one more child and it’s technically a spree.
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
After bailing your son out of jail…
Batman: Jason, I told you to walk away. I told you to give a fake name.
Red Hood: I did, thanks very much. I’m Chareth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer. It was airtight.
Tim: *slumped on the Batcomputer keyboard*
Jason: Just to be clear: looks like he’s dead. Is he dead?
Dick: It just looks like he’s dead. He’s got, like, coffee stains on him or something. But he’s going to be fine.
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