Red Hood: Don’t give me the “hurt feelings” thing, Bruce. Because A, I don’t buy it, and B, I don’t care.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
When you and your siblings do something stupid that unleashes your parents wrath…
Imagine: Jason, Dick and Tim. We all know who their “parent” is.
And Damian wouldn’t refer to himself as a fool.
Gotham City rogues gallery pep talks be like…
Two-Face: Yeah, be prepared! We’ll be prepared… for what?
Joker: For the death of the Bat prince!
Scarecrow:
Why? Is he sick?Joker:
No, fool! We’re going to kill him. And Robin, too.Killer Croc:
Hey, great idea! Who needs the Bat?Harley Quinn: *sings and dances*
No prince, no prince, la la la la la la –Joker:
Idiots! There will be a prince!
Riddler:
Hey, but you said that –Joker: I will be prince. Stick with me and you’ll never be fearful again!
The Gotham King
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
When your grandsons, in an effort to step out of their father’s shadow, get an apartment of their own…
Nightwing’s uniform: *splayed on the couch along with Dick’s hair products and smelly socks*
Red Hood’s weapons: *lying in wait for someone to accidentally trip on them*
Red Robin’s coffee: *spilled all over the dining table – which also doubles as Tim’s makeshift bed – and his laptop*
Robin’s pets: *walking in and out of the bathroom, soaking wet*
Alfred: *looking around with a deadpan-but-clearly disappointed look on his face*
Alfred: *clears his throat as he steps over a fallen garbage can on the floor*
Alfred: Who washes the dishes?
Jason: *defensively raising his hands in front of his face* Nobody washes the dishes! We eat the food directly off the coffee table and you know it!
Why no one likes playing chess with Bruce Wayne…
Supercomputer: *makes a move*
Batman: Now I’m stumped.
Supercomputer: 😏
Batman: There are three ways that I can beat you, but I don’t know which one to use.
Supercomputer: 😳
Batman: You know what? I’ll use the pawn. They never get to be the hero.
Supercomputer: 😤
Bruce trying out a new parenting strategy…
Bruce: *reading the newspaper* Well, good morning, David.
Damian: David?
Bruce: I know you’re not my well-behaved son, Damian, who’d never take the Batmobile out without a license and get arrested.
Mission briefing…
Batman: The B-52 is on the ocean floor here at a depth of 8,000 feet –
Red Hood: Or 1,333 fathoms.
Red Robin: How do you know that?
Red Hood: How do you not?
Nightwing: I haven’t seen you for a month, B, and I’m standing here in a neck brace. You gonna ask how I’m doing or what happened or… ?
Batman: *not looking up from the Batcomputer* I assume you did something stupid.
Me: *looks on fondly as the Batfamily, arm-in-arm, watch as Wayne Tech fireworks shoot out of the Manor grounds, penetrate the smog (yup, they’re that good), and light up the Gotham City sky beside the Bat signal*
Me (to all of you dropping by): Happy New Year, everyone.
Hugs,
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
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