At the safe house…
Doorbell: *buzzes*
Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
Roy: How do you know?
Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *drinking his twelfth cup of coffee* If Jerry the Turkey didn’t belong in the oven, then why did he fit?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick and Jason race to save their little brother’s beloved pet (lest the War of the Century begin in the Wayne household).
Commissioner Gordon: *lights a cigarette* First, the good news.
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle* Hn.
Commissioner Gordon: *takes a drag* Two of your sons are not locked up in jail.
Duke: *shrugs* I guess I like hanging around you guys. Don’t know why.
Dick: Thank you –
Jason: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
Superman: Hey, fathers are allowed to keep some secrets.
Batman: Hn. Like which Robin’s their favorite.
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Red Hood: *tapping his foot impatiently*
Red Robin: *hacking into a supervillain’s mainframe computer*
Red Hood: *squirming*
Red Robin: *sighs and shakes his head*
Red Hood: I need to pee.
Red Robin: Don’t you think it’s weird that you’ve already gone seven times today?
Red Hood: I think it’s weird that you’re counting.
If Bruce and Talia had raised Damian together…
Talia: Your son’s awake.
Bruce: Before sundown, he’s your son.
Red Hood: *disarms Ra’s* Drop it, dickhead.
Ra’s: You won’t kill me.
Red Hood: Oh, yeah? Why not?
Ra’s: Because you’re a Robin. There are rules for Robins.
Red Hood: Yeah. That’s what Batman keeps telling me.
When the Batboys meet the black-haired, blue-eyed child for the first time…
Billy: I am Shazam. I come in peace.
Tim: *shakes Billy’s hand* Oh, I’m so glad you’re not a Robin!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 