Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Dick: You smited somebody?
Damian: Smote. The past tense of smite is smote.
Let’s hear it for the librarians!
Imagine: Bookworm Jason, about genius Barbara. (He could’ve been talking about a mission dossier, too.)
Mission briefing…
Nightwing: What is our number one problem right now?
Red Robin: *drinking his fifth espresso shot* I’m being forced to work with the brat who tried to murder me.
Robin: *crosses his arms* -Tt-
When your legally dead brother’s “low-key” bitter that he wasn’t included in the latest Wayne Family painting…
Tim: Did you just paste your picture over our family portrait?
Jason: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Tim: You pasted it over my face.
Jason: Yeah, I think it looks better.
Jason: You’re going to be okay.
Tim: Am I?
Jason: *shrugs* Yeah, ‘cause you’re, like, ten times more resilient than me, and I’m okay.
Are you though, Jay?
Cue heavy rainfall and dramatic lighting…
Red Hood: You are beyond pathetic, Dick!
Nightwing: Who’s more pathetic? The one who sees hope to make our family whole? Or the coward who can only see the world through his own fear?
Now HUG.
Damian: You stand accused of betraying your own family as the Red Hood, Todd. How do you plead?
Jason: I plead you to shut up.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Would you at least let him finish eating his breakfast first, Dami?
Red Hood: *walks into the Batcave and heads directly to the Medical Bay*
Tim and Damian: *yelling insults at each other*
Red Hood: *reaches out for the bandages and grimaces in pain as he straightens his bleeding leg*
Tim and Damian: *take their argument into the Medical Bay and start grabbing surgical tools to throw at each other*
Red Hood: *pulls them apart by the scruff of their necks*
Red Hood: I’ve been shot at, thrown out of an airplane and generally mistreated by a lot of bad guys. This bickering is pretty much more that I can take. I’m going outside to get some fresh air. When I get back, you two better be calmed down or we’re breaking out the ball gags.
Family Patrol Night…
Nightwing: *stares questioningly at his brothers after hearing about a mission gone awry*
Red Robin: *wiping soot off his face and picking shrapnel from his uniform* Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over there.
Red Hood: *scraping dried mud off his combat boots*
Robin: *throwing the shards that used to be his sword into a garbage can* -Tt-
Nightwing: Uh… Who are they?
Red Robin and Robin: THEY’RE BOTH JASON!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 