Red Hood: *hacking into a mainframe computer in a supervillain’s lair*
Red Hood: Hey, the security system’s been updated. I’ll either need 40 minutes to decrypt the code…
Red Hood: … or four ounces of C4. 🤔
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Batman: *holding the suspect by the lapels on his coat, shaking him* The little girl’s dad. Where is he?
Suspect: I-I d-don’t know… exactly. But I do know someone who might know where they’re holding him.
Batman: *angrily* Who?
Suspect: My Uncle Bernie.
Batman:
Batman: That better not be a joke because I don’t have a sense of humor.
Sneaking into your little brother’s room while he’s away on a mission with Superboy be like…
Tim: *examining the different types of blades splayed on Damian’s bed*Â
Jason: *tiptoeing on the carpet and looking around the room* Maybe let’s not touch anything until we figure out if his stuff wants to kill us or not.
Taking your crush on a tour of the Manor be like…
Tam: *walking slowly around Tim’s bedroom and checking out posters of obscure rock bands on the walls*
Tam: *smirking* You know, you’re weird.
Tim: *trying to sound chill while (almost) soundlessly dumping his disguises into his cabinet, kicking weapons under his bed, and taking down case photos linked with thread and pinned to his headboard, all while Tam’s back is still to him* You have no idea.
Helping your little brother prepare for his first school play be like…
Dick: Dami, we think we can help you with your stage fright.
Damian: Oh, I doubt that. I haven’t figured out a way, and I’m much smarter than all of you.
Tim: Yes, but you’re not smarter than all of us put together.
Damian: I’m sorry. That is what I meant.
Tim: *tightening his tie and straightening out his double-breasted suit in front of a mirror*
Tim: I’m going to the movies with Tam. I don’t want her to think I think it’s a date.
Jason: Do you think it’s a date?
Tim: *clipping his cuff links and shining his black Oxford shoes* No, but she might think I think it’s a date, even though I don’t.
Jason: Or you might think she thinks you think it’s a date, even though she doesn’t.
Tim: *grooming his hair* Are we overthinking this?
Jason: *handing him a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates* Not at all.
Rescuing your brother who’s been stranded in the jungle for five weeks be like…
Nightwing: *hugs Tim* You’re so brave, little brother. I’m proud of you.
Red Robin: *staring blankly* I ate a butterfly. It was so small, so beautiful… I was so hungry.
Damian: Drake, you don’t think I’m condescending, do you?
Tim: *clears throat* Well…
Damian: Oh, I’m sorry. “Condescending” means –
Tim: I know what it means. And, yes, you like to correct people and put them down.
Damian: Au contraire. When I correct people, I’m raising them up. You should know. I do it for you more than anyone else.
Sneaking into Braniac’s ship be like…
Red Robin: Let’s just say we’re way past Wi-Fi.
Red Hood: Now this is a lair.
Red Hood [to Batman]: You’re stopping a felony and I’m committing one. Remember when we used to have Movie Night?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Man, that was a loooong time ago.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 