Raising a Robin…
Bruce: Alfred, Jason’s having girl troubles. You’d better go talk to him.
Alfred: It’s clown troubles, Sir. That’s your responsibility.
Bruce: I thought I was in charge of bedtime stories and “dying pets”?
Alfred: Yes. Well, we’re adding clowns.
Bruce: Hn. Fine. But you just bought yourself “ear piercing” and “strange new feelings”.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Meirl
Imagine: The Batkids cleaning the manor – before Alfred leaves and after he does.
Damian [on the Comm Link]: Todd, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
Red Hood: *reloading his guns while hiding behind barrels as bullets whizz past him* Uh, isn’t this the kind of thing Alfred’s better at?
Damian: I called him. He’s not home. I also tried Father, Grayson, Drake, Brown, Thomas, and the Commissioner, Barbara’s father.
Red Hood: *twisting a criminal’s arm and throwing another across the wall* Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.
Nightwing: *sighs*
Nightwing: Just go, Bruce. I don’t want you to be late for whatever it is you’re hiding from me.
When Nightwing suggests that it might be a good “brotherly bonding” activity for you to investigate a case together…
Red Robin: *pointing to a partially hidden footprint* You should have seen this, Damian, but you were expending too much effort trying to undermine me.
Robin: I assure you that it takes no effort whatsoever.
Bruce: My last will and testament is three hundred and twelve pages long.
Dick: Mine’s written on a sticky note. “Everything goes back to Batman.” But don’t worry, don’t worry. I used your real name to keep it legal.
When you finally realize that you’re officially part of the Batfamily…
Duke: I don’t think I’m really cut out for a job where you disarm a bomb, steal a classified document, and then jump off a building.
Jason: *supportively pats him on the shoulder* Well, you could have fooled me.
Duke: That’s very kind of you to say, but I’m pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger give me away.
Jason and Tim: *watch as Tam walks away*
Jason: *elbows Tim in the ribs and gives him a “Why didn’t you talk to her???” look*
Tim: *rubbing his chest and hissing* Of course I find her attractive! It’s just that I had a burrito earlier and I was trying to be respectful.
Damian: *puts on noise-cancelling earphones after overhearing Bruce and Dick yelling at each other*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: I hate it when father and father fight.
Also Damian: *looks around in a slight panic to check if anyone heard what he just said*
Red Hood: I don’t really do well with change, I guess.
Batman: Well, you’re better than I am.
Red Hood: The pyramids are better at change than you are.
Red Hood: … It’s a joke! Hey, I was being affectionate.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 