Dick: *reads newspaper article about the Drake-Wayne/Fox engagement*
Dick [to Tim]: You intended to propose without telling me, your eldest and most good-looking brother?!
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
Nightwing: Better get some rest, Bruce…
Batman: I’m tired, Dick. The kind of tired you can’t sleep off.
Dick: *decides to move on from being Robin and become Nightwing*
Bruce: Is there anything I can say?
Dick: You can give me your word that you’ll be just as hard on my successor as you were on me.
Bruce: You have my word.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Red Hood, upon hearing this anecdote: Why, that little piece of sh–
His last words before being attacked by his brothers with a bull tranquilizer gun…
Tim: *eyes red, eyelids drooping, skin pale as ash, drinking coffee with a straw* I am looking forward to hanging out at the hardware store and pestering the owner about the placement of the surveillance cameras.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
Flirting with a geeky, sleep-deprived, teenaged vigilante be like…
Tim: You smell like strawberries.
Tam: It’s my lip gloss.
Tim: Does it taste like it smells?
Tam: *grins* You wanna find out?
Tim: Sure!
Tam: *leans in to kiss him*
Tim: *uses a finger to wipe lip gloss off her lips, then tastes it*
Tim: Mmmm.
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Batman: *turning on the Comm Link* Di –
Nightwing: *dropping down from the ceiling* Here I am, roguishly handsome and at your service. What do you need?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 