Tag: incorrect batfamilly quotes

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Jason: Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been completely without their knowledge?

Tim: Honestly, I’m more surprised by the other 20%, Jay.

Oh, I definitely didn’t mean for it to sound that way, @avaenox, but I do get what you mean.

In canon, Jason has a track record of annoying some of the women he’s around, so I was thinking more along the lines of him watching them – making sure they’re safe – from a distance (since they might not find his presence palatable). And the 20% thing? A joke about how many of them can actually stand him.

Training with the Batboys…

Red Robin: It’s a motion-sensitive bomb.

The Signal: Cool, cool, cool. So I probably shouldn’t have slammed a chair against the glass.

Red Hood: *chuckling* No, that wasn’t a good idea.

The Signal: Sorry, it’s my first bomb!

prison-mikes-bandana:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When your adoptive son gets insecure…

Bruce: Dick, I wasn’t prepared to raise a kid like you. There’s no manual on how to raise a child who just lost both his parents. If there were, I would have read it a hundred times, cover-to-cover, because I loved you from the moment you stepped into the Manor. I just didn’t know how to show you.

… So you just encouraged him to fight crime alongside you? (Also, be careful, Batman. Declarations of love to Nightwing earn you the biggest tackle-hugs.)   

If there was a manual there would’ve been no batman because Alfred would’ve read that FUCKING BOOK FOR INSIGHT

And Alfred’s like, “Fret not, Master Bruce. I wrote one as you were growing up”, then drops a six-inch-thick journal by the Batcomputer. A second volume includes his time with Dick, Jason, and Tim, and a third (and special) one, with Damian.  

3 AM at the Manor…

Jason: *leaning on Tim for support* 

Jason: *giggling and whispering* Timbo, take me to Alfred and move slow…

Jason: … I’m still drunk… ing my coffee, Bruce!

Bruce: Hn.

Guess who’s grounded?