When you just can’t say no to a brother in need…
Nightwing: I’ll do it.
Red Hood: I knew you would. You’re very predictable.
Nightwing & Red Hood: No, I’m not.
Nightwing & Red Hood: Stop doing that!
Nightwing & Red Hood: Peanut butter egg cereal.
Tag: hug monster
Jason: Wow. Little Timmy, the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises. I feel so full of… What’s the opposite of shame?
Dick: Pride?
Jason: No, not that far from shame.
Dick: Less shame?
Jason: *beaming with pride* Yeah.
Tim: *watching as Damian furiously stomps away*
Tim: He really doesn’t like me.
Dick: *sighs* He doesn’t. But he didn’t have to say it to your face.
Nightwing: We were all concerned about you, Jay!
Red Hood: Oh, yeah, the guys you sent to incapacitate me looked really worried.
Imagine: Dick listening as Bruce gives instructions, then noticing Jason and Damian sneaking into the Batmobile.
Good older brothers don’t tattle.
Dick: Hey, Little Wing.
Jason: Screw you.
Damian: Excuse me, that is no way to address a superior.
Jason: Oh, yeah? Screw you, too.
Tim: *walking into the room and bumping into Jason, who’s fumingly on his way out*
Tim: Whoa. What was that all about?
Alfred: *gives them a pointed look*
Alfred: You all forgot his death anniversary. It was yesterday.
Preparing for a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *winking, grinning, and making kissy faces at the mirror* Would you consider us adorable?
Jason: *straightening his bowtie and running his hand through his hair* No. We’re adult men. We’re cute.
Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Nightwing: *fidgeting with his suit, stretching the fabric in, um, certain places*
Red Hood: Just suck in your gut.
Nightwing: What gut?
Red Hood: The little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
Nightwing:
Red Hood:
Nightwing: *pouts and backflips away*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Not cool, Li’l Wing. Not cool.
Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
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