When a highly dangerous supervillain’s in town and your overprotective adoptive father orders you to “stay out of it”…
Nightwing: *noiselessly drops down from the ceiling in the middle of a heavily guarded warehouse*
Batman: *bruised, bloodied, bound to a metal contraption and on the verge of losing consciousness* D-Dick, what are you –
Nightwing: *disables the handcuffs* If you wanted a binding agreement, we should have pinky-sweared.
Tag: hug monster
Dick: I can’t believe Tim’s sleeping.
Jason: I had the Little Brat give him two Valiums.
Dick: Why? Was he in a lot of pain?
Jason: Nah. He just wouldn’t shut up.
After meeting Tim for the first time…
Dick: Bruce, you’ve already got two strikes on your record. You adopt one more child and it’s technically a spree.
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
Tim: *slumped on the Batcomputer keyboard*
Jason: Just to be clear: looks like he’s dead. Is he dead?
Dick: It just looks like he’s dead. He’s got, like, coffee stains on him or something. But he’s going to be fine.
Dick: You smited somebody?
Damian: Smote. The past tense of smite is smote.
During Tim’s first days as Robin…
Tim: You can’t be fired from your own family. Can you?
Dick:
Bruce:
Dick: *sarcastically clears throat*
Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
When your brother tries to convince you to perform a death-defying, two-man maneuver with him…
Red Hood: Dick, that’s acrobat stuff. I don’t have the expertise.
Nightwing: Jay, any idiot can be an acrobat.
Red Hood: I know, I just think –
Nightwing: I knew you thought that! I knew it.
Red Hood: You tricked me!
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