Tim: Dick’s been looking for you all morning.
Jason: What does he want?
Tim: I don’t know, but he’s dressed strangely.
Jason: Really? How can you tell?
Tag: hug monster
Nightwing: *yelling over the commotion while dodging bullets and beating up criminals* I’m dying to sing “Under the Sea” right now, but I’m not, so there, maturity!
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Red Hood: Get off me, Dick!
Nightwing: Hold still for a sec, Li’l Wing!
Red Hood: Why can’t you just get Timbo or the Brat to do this with you?
Nightwing: Because @wingedskyes said that we were their favorite, Jay, so we can’t disappoint! *wiggles eyebrows and grins*
Red Hood: *exhasperated sigh*
Nightwing: Plus, Timmy hasn’t slept in three days and Dami’s… Well, I don’t even want to know what he’d do if I so much as suggested this to him.
Red Hood: Well, yeah, fine, but why this, though? What if I just spelled their name out on the wall with bullets in thirty seconds flat, huh? That might be impressive.
Nightwing: Yeah, but Alfred would ground us for life. Now, could you bend your back just a liiiittle bit more –
Red Hood: Hey, newsflash, Goldie, on this Earth I didn’t grow up all flexible like you –
Nightwing: Or maybe you could –
Red Hood: I swear, D, you twist my arm one more time –
Alfred: *walks into the Manor’s gymnastics room with @wingedskyes in tow*
Alfred: *stares stoically at Dick and Jason, whose bodies are contorted to spell out “W” and “S” atop a balancing beam*
Nightwing: *smiling proudly* Ta-daaa!
Red Hood: *loses his footing and falls to the floor*
Red Hood: *groaning* Ta-daAaa…
Alfred: *looks at the boys, then at @wingedskyes *
Alfred: Dinner will be served shortly. Don’t be late. *walks out*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Thank you!
Jason [to Dick]: I’m fairly confident that one of Bruce’s proudest moment was when you finally took off the scaly, green leotard.
Yeah, and then you put it on. Bet that was a proud moment, too.
Seeing your adoptive father again after “choosing to follow a different path in life” be like…
Batman: Why so long?
Nightwing: I know! It’s weird! It’s been such a long time since we last talked –
Batman: I meant your hair.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
We asked him the same thing.
Nightwing: *tying up a criminal*
Nightwing: Sorry I aggravated you. But just so you know, a lot of people think I’m adorable.
When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
When you visit your eldest brother’s Blüdhaven apartment and ask him (authoritatively) to pick up after himself…
Damian: Why are you being a baby, Grayson?
Dick: I’m not a baby! I’m a grown man and I made my bed! Now where’s my Coco Crunch?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 