incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Breakfast at the Manor…

Duke: *listening to the birds chirping, the breeze blowing, the grass being mowed by Alfred… *

Duke: *looks around the kitchen suspiciously*

Duke: It’s quiet. Too quiet.

Duke:

Dune: *narrowly misses a birdarang, which hits and breaks a ketchup bottle, and hears two sets of footsteps – one lithe, the other heavy – barreling down the stairs and familiar voices yelling insults at each other*

Duke:

Duke: *gets up, grabs his stuff, and looks up the nearest Big Belly Burger on Waze* Suddenly it’s too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet.

Jason: *turns his seat to face @rayanyamor*And you felt the need to point it out because…?

Alfred: *conficates Jason’s Pop-Tarts and starts passing out plates of blueberry waffles to everyone at the table* Young masters, I implore you to let our guest have breakfast in peace.

Jason: Alf, wha–

Tim: *pops coffee beans into his mouth* But it’s a legit question, though.

Damian: *climbs on top of the kitchen table and brings his face so close to @rayanyamor’s that they’re practically nose-to-nose* What makes you so sure that we weren’t referring to another Robin?

Dick: *walks into the kitchen already eating from a cereal box* Good morning, family! What’re we talking about now? And where’s Dune?

Me: *drags my hand down my face in anguish* It was a typo. A typo.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Thank you, @rayanyamor !

Sending your brothers off to a mission when you’re stuck doing monitor duty at the Batcave be like…

Red Hood: Good luck, everyone. I packed you all lunches for the trip.

Nightwing: Thanks, Jay. That was really nice of you.

Red Robin: Not really. All my bag had was an air filter and a thermos full of brake fluid.

Robin: *peeks into his own lunch bag* Tt.

Red Hood: Don’t forget to wash your exhaust pipe every day!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Bruce: Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite Robin?

Dick: Bruuuuce. Come on!

Bruce: I think instinctively you must know…

Dick: I mean, it’s like…

Bruce: I mean you’ve gotten away with everything…

Dick: *giggles* Bruce, you don’t have to say that…

Bruce: You’ll always be my little bo–

Door: *thud thud thud*

Batman: *muffled* Nightwing, get up. It’s time for patrol.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

And it had been such a nice dream, too.

Paintball war at the Manor…

Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?

Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.

Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!

Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.

Tim: Dick, we have a problem.

Dick: Guys, I am not your mother, so don’t come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn’t like.

Tim: I’m telling you, he’s crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.

Damian: No I didn’t.

Tim: Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t threaten to cut my hair off and give it to Ra’s as a birthday present?

Damian: You know, Drake, I think you’re taking my words a little out of context.

Tim: What?! What context?!

When your brother visits your Blüdhaven apartment…

Dick: How cheap do you think I am?

Jason: *grabs a box from the cupboard and shakes it* Well, your cereal box says, “Cereal”.

Dick: *grabs the box and returns it to the cupboard* Generic is how you get your savings.

When your brother visits your Blüdhaven apartment…

Dick: How cheap do you think I am?

Jason: *grabs a box from the cupboard and shakes it* Well, your cereal box says, “Cereal”.

Dick: *grabs the box and returns it to the cupboard* Generic is how you get your savings.

Early on-the-job training with the “OG Robin” be like…

Goons: *in hot pursuit*

Robin: *standing on the edge of a cliff* Y-you w-want me to j-j-jump?

Nightwing: *chuckles* No, Tim, I want you to have the power to apparate like the teenage wizards in “Harry Potter”, but you don’t, so into the wind you go! *shoves him lightly then follows*

Nightwing: *singing NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye”*

Robin: *abruptly hits the Batmobile brakes*

Nightwing: *slumps back into the passenger seat and takes an earphone out of his ear*

Robin: You know what I find annoying?

Nightwing: Me?

Robin: *grabs Dick’s earphones, chucks them out of the window, and floors the gas pedal*Yes.