When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
Tag: hug monster
Batman (Dick): First thing when you want to get something out of someone: make them comfortable. Don’t say anything blunt or harsh. In other words, Little D, don’t be yourself too much.
Robin (Damian): I’d be offended if it weren’t so true.
Robin [to Red Robin]: Father asked me to help you with a non-existent test… ?
Red Hood [to Nightwing]: And Bruce asked me to pal around with you for a “mission” in Ireland…
Alfred: It’s a little “Parent Trap”, young masters. Your father was trying to create some peace in the Batcave.
Nightwing: Are you ready to take one for the family?
Red Hood: I’ve already made myself absolutely clear that I’m not a part of this family.
Red Hood: … But fine.
Dick: Hey, Jay, a penny for your thoughts?
Jason: How about a dime to leave me alone?
Nightwing: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Red Hood: I agree, except replace the word “non” with “extremely”, and after the word “violent”, include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire"!
Trying to get your brother to make healthier choices be like…
Nightwing: *laying the blueprint for a warehouse across the street on the rooftop deck*
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash*
Red Hood: *coughs*
Red Robin: Wait a second, are you smoking inside of your helment again?
Red Hood: What? No.
Red Hood: *tries to stifle another cough as smoke comes out of the vents in his helmet* Oops.
Nightwing: *locating Alfred on his communicator* I knew this would happen. And how many snack cakes have you had today?
Red Hood: None.
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: *glare at him*
Red Hood: Okay, five… or more. Baker’s dozen at most.
Robin: Do you even know how many there are in a baker’s dozen, Todd?
Red Hood: By my count? Forty-eight.
Dick: *leaning over the sofa in the Wayne Manor library* Wow, Little Wing, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
Jason: *yawning and stretching, swiftly catching the novel that falls from his chest as he gets up* Nothing. I don’t like to dream. I try not to think while I’m sleeping.
Damian: *not looking up from the novel he’s reading at the other side of the room* That’s pretty much how you function while you’re awake, too.
Post-mission debriefing…
Batman: *listening*
Nightwing: At first, it didn’t seem physically possible.
Red Robin: But modern-day technology makes anything possible. It was as easy as Shake-‘N-Bake!
Red Hood: *wiggles eyebrows* And I helped.
Robin: Actually, Todd, I don’t really know if snickering in the corner all night like a prepubescent monkey actually qualifies as help, but it sure was entertaining.
Red Hood: Hey, @shywritersblogsworld , you know what else gives you life? The Lazaru–
Robin: *shoves Jason out of the way* Lame! Try using a Chaos Sha–
Red Robin: Well, there’s also teleporting.
Red Hood and Robin: *slowly turn their heads towards Tim and glare at him*
Red Hood: You did not just say what I thought you said.
Robin: That. Doesn’t. Count. Drake.
Red Robin: But I –
Red Hood: Didn’t actually die!
Robin: *fist-bumps Jason* Thank you, Todd!
Red Robin: I just cannot catch a break with you guys!
Nightwing: *listening to his younger brothers bickering* You know what? I’m not even gonna… Let’s just get out of here. *puts an arm around @shywritersblogsworld and leads them out of the room*
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Thank you, @shywritersblogsworld ! Thanks for dropping by!
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