Nightwing: *patting dust off his recently unearthed 80’s uniform* Well, excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that collars are back.
Red Hood: And this time they’ve ganged up to form one giant, super collar.
Tag: hug monster
Nightwing: *staring at broken frames with pictures of Batman and Jason as Robin in them*
Red Hood: *shrugs* We deal with stress differently. You reminisce. I smash things.
– • – • – • – • –
Like you weren’t crying like a baby while doing it, Jay.
Red Robin: *panicking because, for the first time in like forvever, he’s stumped by a supervillain computer program that’s right in front of him*
Nightwing: *slaps him playfully on the back* I’ve seen you hack a thermometer, Tim. This is amateur hour.
Red Robin: Y-you kn-know this software… ?
Nightwing: *standing behind Tim, making the “don’t-mind-him-he’s-only-had-like-eight-minutes-of-sleep-for-the-past-three-days” face at @hotschott1*
Red Robin: Who trained you? And why are you helping us infiltrate an enemy base?
Nightwing [to @hotschott1]: 🙄😏
Nightwing: We’re at home, Tim. This is literally the Batcomputer.
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Red Robin: *panicking because, for the first time in like forvever, he’s stumped by a supervillain computer program that’s right in front of him*
Nightwing: *slaps him playfully on the back* I’ve seen you hack a thermometer, Tim. This is amateur hour.
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
Mission briefing…
Batman: *clears his throat loudly* So unless anybody *glares at Tim for two whole seconds* has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we’re gonna stick with: the Warthog. How about it, Tim?
Red Robin: Nope. No more suggestions.
Batman: Hn. Okay, now if you’ll all –
Red Hood: *blurting out* Are you sure? How ‘bout “Big Foot”?
Red Robin: *gritting his teeth* It’s okay.
Nightwing: *trying to stifle his laughter* “Unicorn”?
Red Robin: *gripping his bo staff tighter* No, really. I’m… I’m cool.
Robin: *smirking* “Sasquatch”?
The Signal: *elbowing Tim* “Leprechaun”?
Red Robin: *elbowing Duke back and getting really annoyed* Hey, he doesn’t need any help, guys.
Spoiler: *yelling as she enters the Batcave* “Phoenix”?
Red Robin: *sighs and rubs his face in frustration* Guys.
Batman: *grinning* Barbara, what’s the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.
Batgirl: *sarcastically looking it up on the Batcomputer* Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, Bruce.
Orphan: *drops down from the ceiling* Tim, Chupa-thingy, how ’bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.
Red Robin: *attempts to melt onto the Batcave floor*
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Jason Tim’s about half a wreck, huh?
Dick: Yeah, so why do you pick on him?
Jason: I… Oh, was that not rhetorical?
When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 