Those oh-so-rare family camping trips be like…
Jason: *loading tents, sleeping bags, backpacks and concealed weapons into the Batvan*
Damian: *securing Batcow’s trailer*
Dick: *staring questioningly at Tim while applying sunblock on his face*
Tim: *carrying case files in one hand and a coffee mug in the other* I don’t know why you guys can’t go without me and just Photoshop me in.
Tag: hug monster
Dick: When are you gonna take time to be a kid?
Damian: In my mid-20’s, like you.
Dick: I’d ask Bruce to ground you for that, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to play with.
Nightwing: Are you ready to take one for the family?
Red Hood: I’ve already made myself absolutely clear that I’m not a part of this family.
Red Hood: … But fine.
Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
Dick: You smited somebody?
Damian: Smote. The past tense of smite is smote.
Mission briefing…
Nightwing: What is our number one problem right now?
Red Robin: *drinking his fifth espresso shot* I’m being forced to work with the brat who tried to murder me.
Robin: *crosses his arms* -Tt-
Cue heavy rainfall and dramatic lighting…
Red Hood: You are beyond pathetic, Dick!
Nightwing: Who’s more pathetic? The one who sees hope to make our family whole? Or the coward who can only see the world through his own fear?
Now HUG.
Family Patrol Night…
Nightwing: *stares questioningly at his brothers after hearing about a mission gone awry*
Red Robin: *wiping soot off his face and picking shrapnel from his uniform* Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over there.
Red Hood: *scraping dried mud off his combat boots*
Robin: *throwing the shards that used to be his sword into a garbage can* -Tt-
Nightwing: Uh… Who are they?
Red Robin and Robin: THEY’RE BOTH JASON!
Mission briefing…
Batman: *clears his throat loudly* So unless anybody *glares at Tim for two whole seconds* has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we’re gonna stick with: the Warthog. How about it, Tim?
Red Robin: Nope. No more suggestions.
Batman: Hn. Okay, now if you’ll all –
Red Hood: *blurting out* Are you sure? How ‘bout “Big Foot”?
Red Robin: *gritting his teeth* It’s okay.
Nightwing: *trying to stifle his laughter* “Unicorn”?
Red Robin: *gripping his bo staff tighter* No, really. I’m… I’m cool.
Robin: *smirking* “Sasquatch”?
The Signal: *elbowing Tim* “Leprechaun”?
Red Robin: *elbowing Duke back and getting really annoyed* Hey, he doesn’t need any help, guys.
Spoiler: *yelling as she enters the Batcave* “Phoenix”?
Red Robin: *sighs and rubs his face in frustration* Guys.
Batman: *grinning* Barbara, what’s the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.
Batgirl: *sarcastically looking it up on the Batcomputer* Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, Bruce.
Orphan: *drops down from the ceiling* Tim, Chupa-thingy, how ‘bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.
Red Robin: *attempts to melt onto the Batcave floor*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 