Bruce: My last will and testament is three hundred and twelve pages long.
Dick: Mine’s written on a sticky note. “Everything goes back to Batman.” But don’t worry, don’t worry. I used your real name to keep it legal.
Tag: hug monster
Damian: *puts on noise-cancelling earphones after overhearing Bruce and Dick yelling at each other*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: I hate it when father and father fight.
Also Damian: *looks around in a slight panic to check if anyone heard what he just said*
Bruce: Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite Robin?
Dick: Bruuuuce. Come on!
Bruce: I think instinctively you must know…
Dick: I mean, it’s like…
Bruce: I mean you’ve gotten away with everything…
Dick: *giggles* Bruce, you don’t have to say that…
Bruce: You’ll always be my little bo–
Door: *thud thud thud*
Batman: *muffled* Nightwing, get up. It’s time for patrol.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And it had been such a nice dream, too.
Imagine: Nightwing, at breakfast. (Alfred: “Master Richard, I will give you till the count of three –”)
Crashing into your brother’s apartment post-patrol to borrow a shirt…
Red Hood [to Dick]: I get all the history lessons that I need just by looking at your wardrobe.
Remember Nightwing’s pregnancy scare?
Jason [to Dick]: I know that you’ll be a good father, Dick. A really good one. Because you’re tough, and you’re kind, and you’re smart.
Jason: And if you tell anyone that I said that, I will deny it.
Dick: *knocks on Damian’s bedroom door*
Dick: Little D, hey, I just came up to see what you were doing.
Dick: And maybe stop you.
Dick: *won’t stop making puns during family dinner*
Jason: *puts his utensils down, wipes his mouth with a napkin, sighs, and looks his older brother in the eye*
Jason: Everything you just said makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others.
Red Robin: Did Nightwing and Red Hood turn off their mics?
Robin: I did. Those two gab like little school girls on the field. It’s murder on the ears.
The Robins as…
CORPORATE EMPLOYEES
Dick
- Human Resources Head
- Requires all employees to regularly attend team building/group therapy sessions, many of which he himself leads (though most don’t feel “obligated” to because they actually like him and his programs)
- Spends majority of his time at work mediating between his brothers, honestly
Jason
- Chief Security Officer
- One of the main reasons the entire company can sleep soundly at night
- He’s thought of everything – from shatterproof glass windows to extensive financial protection strategies to protocols to take down shady bystanders dressed as clowns to –
Tim
- Chief Executive Officer
- Deserves an award for putting up with a certain member of the Board of Directors, who he reports to
- Would rather stay cooped up in his office, working overtime, than travel abroad or go golfing with other executives (and his personal assistant deserves an award for the daily number of “coffee runs” done in his behalf)
Damian
- member of the Board of Directors (alongside Bruce, who, in spite of constantly having to deal with headaches caused by arguing with his youngest son, cannot deny the teenager’s business acumen)
- “You were saying?”, he says as he glowers at another member who’s clearly perturbed by the cow standing beside him at the head of the conference table
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