If Damian came to the Manor as a baby…
Dick: *sniffs*
Tim: Who’s gonna change the little brat?
Jason: We’re going to let him roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.
Tag: hug monster
At the Titans Tower…
Robin [about the rest of the Teen Titans]: *muttering angrily* I’ll show them who’s “just a kid”!
Nightwing: *yelling from the room across the hall* Damian, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
Old, old, old and still as stubborn as ever…
Dick: Bruce, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you.
Bruce: Dick, just because you’re ten feet tall, it doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.
Tim: I’m Tim.
Dick: Gimme those!
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
On how he plans to celebrate Father’s Day…
Bruce: My sons are going to make me breakfast in bed.
Bruce: Well, actually, Alfred’s going to make the breakfast and I’m going to get in bed, but they’re going to bring it to me.
Red Hood: You still assume that I’m a terrorist!
Nightwing: If you’re not, I’m sorry. If you are, I’m a hero. I’m willing to take that chance.
After hours of searching the Manor…
Alfred: *throws hands up in exasperation as the five-course dinner he prepared grows cold* Well, the boys are off. I wonder where they went.
Bruce: Out of town.
Alfred: How do you know, Master Bruce?
Bruce: I told them not to.
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!