When missions be like…
Robin: Nobody warned us about this.
Aqualad: You mean, why didn’t we listen when everybody warned us?
Tag: hug monster
Watching as a Godzilla-like creature terrorizes Gotham City…
Nightwing: *lighting up his escrima sticks* What do you give for our odds? About 50-50?
Red Hood: *doing a mental inventory of the explosives in his suit* That’s what I like about you, Dick. You’re an optimist.
Wally: *instantly regretful of his word-vomit* I gotta bribe you to keep you quiet?
Dick: I don’t call it a bribe. I call it cereal.
The Signal: *feeling dejected after receiving “The Talk” from Batman after a mission gone awry*
Nightwing: *putting a comforting arm on his shoulder* Hey, don’t listen to Bruce.
Red Hood: *opening a bottle of beer using a batarang lying around* We don’t.
Tim and Damian: *throwing threats at each other*
Dick and Jason: *watching from the couch, eating popcorn*
Dick: Jay, who would you choose? Timmy or Dami?
Jason: It’s none of our business. Tim.
Dick: When are you gonna take time to be a kid?
Damian: In my mid-20’s, like you.
Dick: I’d ask Bruce to ground you for that, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to play with.
tonight’s obsession: circumstances that lead to the Batfamily giving up and calling an uber
Nightwing: *speaking in a hushed tone* No, no, B, look, just –
Nightwing: *hissing* Will you stop that please? You’re breaking the freakin’ door! You want to buy this nice gentleman a brand new car, is that what you want?
Batman: *snorts, then let’s go of the door handle and glares at the window*
Nightwing: There. Was that so hard? Now, relax. As I was saying, once in a while, it’s nice to let someone else take the wheel, you know? To just let go of that consuming urge to control everything and everyone and –
Driver: *eyeing them through the rear view mirror* So, you two headed to the Gotham Comic Con?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing: Yes, yes, that’s exactly it.
If the Batboys had entrance music when they entered a battlefield…
DICK’s would be “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At the Disco…
JASON’s, “Heathens” by twenty one pilots…
TIM’s, “Basketcase” by Green Day…
And, DAMIAN’s, “The Imperial March” by John Williams.
Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
Mornings at the Batcave…
Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?
Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*
Jason: *groans* No. Why?
Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –
Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
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