dick: anyway that’s photo 104 of 5000 of my beautiful wife
dick: i sure hope she’s not out there, realizing she’s an alien
donna: what?
dick: that would SUCK
Tag: hug monster
Dick [about Roy]: Well, do you ever take an interest in anything he does?
Jason: Well, we used to have burping contests, but I outgrew it.
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!
Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.
[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]
Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.
[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]
FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.
FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.
Dick: Rule #1 with a baby…
Jason: *sniggering*
Tim: *smirking*
Dick: *places a hand on Damian’s shoulder*
Damian: *growling*
Dick: …don’t use it as a human shield.
Jason and Tim: *all-out, belly-laughing*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
He a tough baby, though.
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Dick: No, no, you’re not looking –
Bruce: Dick, I just got word that there’s a threat heading towards Earth from Apokolips, so I’m not in the mood for –
Dick: A second! A second is all I’m asking.
Dick: *eagerly pointing at Tim with both hands*
Tim: *asleep, slobbering on the slobber-proof Batcomputer keyboard*
Bruce:
Bruce: *grinning* Hn.
Dick doesn’t point, he just aggressively jazz-hands in the direction he wants people to pay attention to
Actually, that’s is kind of how I pictured it. “Jazz-hands” would be the term, alright.
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Dick: No, no, you’re not looking –
Bruce: Dick, I just got word that there’s a threat heading towards Earth from Apokolips, so I’m not in the mood for –
Dick: A second! A second is all I’m asking.
Dick: *eagerly pointing at Tim with both hands*
Tim: *asleep, slobbering on the slobber-proof Batcomputer keyboard*
Bruce:
Bruce: *grinning* Hn.
When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
RED HOOD H O W D A R E THOU STEAL JTASON JTODD’S CARD I MET THAT GUY LIKE ONCE AND HE LOWKEY LOOKED HOMELESS. THEFTING IS A NO-NO UNLESS IT’S FROM MAJOR COPERATIONS
Red Hood: Last time I checked, @writtenskyes , the cards I have belonged to one Jtason Jtodd. *winks*
Attempting to buy weapons at an underground armory…
Red Hood [to store owner]: *realizing that Bruce cancelled his credit cards* Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Ric Grayson: Oh, he’s not homeless. *puts an arm around Jason* He’s with me, @dangerous-doodle .
Jtason Jtodd: Uh, yeah. What, uh, what he – *turns to Dick* Dude, who are you?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 