Trying to get Batman to gossip be like…
Green Lantern: Come on, Bats, you’re a computer! Scan your mainframe for some juicy memories.
Tag: hal jordan
Breaking into pairs for a Justice League mission be like…
Green Lantern [about Batman]: I’m very flattered. I was his second choice after “Pass”.
Batman: *typing away on the Watchtower’s mainframe computer while rest of the Justice League excitedly pack for their annual team building trip*
Green Lantern [to The Flash]: I can’t even picture Bats on vacation. I bet he doesn’t even own shorts.
See, playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne goes on vacation all the time. Reclusive vigilante Batman? Not so much.
The Flash [to Green Lantern, about Batman]: Great. The one person who can really help us thinks you’re the biggest jackass in the Multiverse.
Green Lantern: That cold tone of your voice, does that come naturally? Or is that something you practice?
Batman: I practice. Every time I talk to you.
Because almost any excuse is plausible in the Multiverse…
At a Justice League meeting…
Batman: *glaring*
Green Lantern: What? I got held up.
Batman: What is it this time, Jordan? Traffic, gunpoint, giant squid?
Green Lantern: *shrugs* All of the above.
Taking a trip down memory lane be like…
Barry: Hal didn’t trust Bruce.
Clark: And Bruce didn’t trust Hal.
J’onn: That’s why they had lunch together every single week…?
Diana: To express their mutual distrust.
Barry and Clark: Exactly.
Arthur: *shrugs* Meh.
Hal: So, what do you think I should do, Bats?
Bruce: Find the person you would least likely ask for advice and go to him or her.
Hal: I thought that was what I was doing.
Trying to get approval from Batman for a mission be like…
Green Lantern: *walking away from Batman and towards the rest of the Justice League, who’re anxiously waiting*
Green Lantern: *shrugs* It was a cross between his angry face and his “stop talking” face, the second of which I’m more familiar with.
Maybe next time don’t send Hal to do the talking?
When your best friend can read through an entire textbook in two seconds flat…
Hal: *drops a bunch of books on Barry’s desk* I need you to upload these to your brain.
Barry: *examining a specimen under a microscope* One, I’m busy. And, two, I’m not a computer.
Hal: Actually, you kind of are. I need you to learn all of this stuff so you can teach me.
Barry: Why?
Hal: So I can impress a lady.
Barry: Such predictable motives. This is extortion.
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