Batman: *typing away on the Watchtower’s mainframe computer while rest of the Justice League excitedly pack for their annual team building trip*
Green Lantern [to The Flash]: I can’t even picture Bats on vacation. I bet he doesn’t even own shorts.
See, playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne goes on vacation all the time. Reclusive vigilante Batman? Not so much.
Tag: hal jordan
Training with The Batman…
Bruce: You, Jordan. Push-ups in three minutes.
Hal *wheezing on the floor from two hours of weight lifting* Barry, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack him with it.
Superman: Actually, I saw “Goodfellas” with Bruce!
Green Lantern: Really? Bruce sees movies made after 1957?
Batman: What’s your point, Jordan?
Green Lantern: *startled* Whoa! That was an impressively quiet entrance.
You know you’re the newbie when…
Green Lantern (Simon): Who’s the big, scary guy?
Green Lantern (Hal): *shakes his head* His name’s Batman. You should know that by now.
When you visit an old friend and decide to check out one of the city’s “local destinations”…
At the Iceberg Lounge…
Attractive Young Woman: So, you rich or something?
Hal: I’m not Bruce Wayne-rich, but I do okay.
Bats, Lanterns, and League meetings…
Green Lantern (Simon): *sits down after watching Batman do the same*
Green Lantern (Hal): *rolls his eyes at him*
Simon: He just sat down. What am I suppose to do? He’s the boss.
Hal: No, he’s not!
Simon: He isn’t? Dang it, I cannot figure out who the boss of this team is!
But, to be safe, we usually assume it’s Bruce, so…
The Flash: What do you mean there’s a missile heading for us?!
Green Lantern: How is “missile heading for us” confusing?
Justice League mission on Apokolips…
Green Lantern: Man, it is hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit out here!
Hal: What is Guy talking about?
John: A pile of crap.
Hal: Isn’t he always?
Green: You’re like egg salad at a picnic, Bruce. Even when you look good, we know you’re going bad.
Have you not read “The Dark Knight Returns”, Hal? He still kicks some serious ass in his old age.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 