Ted: Hold on, there’s something different…
Michael: I went to that tanning place Guy suggested.
Ted: Was that place the sun?
Tag: guy gardner
Guy [to Jessica]: Pardon my French, but Batman is so uptight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
Batman: *grabs Green Lantern by the lapels*
Batman: *grits teeth*
Batman: What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.
Sinestro: Goodness Guardians, Gardner! Your breath! When did you find time to eat a diaper you found on the beach?
Guy: Batman!
Bruce: *mutters* And there you are.
Guy: Huh?
Bruce: *grumbles* I was just now wondering if there was anything that could actually push my headache into a full blown migraine. And there you are.
Guy: All right, Bats. Let me hit you with a little analogy. Are you familiar with race cars?
Bruce: Formula 1 or stock?
Guy: That’s already way more than I know about it.
Red Hood, after being extracted by Green Lantern from a remote island as per Batman’s orders…
Jason: Well?! Being a vigilante makes you crazy! I mean what kind of job is that, where you get murdered and have to relive it over and over?! Hello, stress! Don’t even get me started on Bruce, I mean he –
Guy: He can be a steel-clad douchebag, I know. Why do you think I left the League?
Jason: Wh-? You were in the Justice League?!
Guy: Briefly, way back. Didn’t work out, because, ya know, your father…
Jason: Was impossible to please, right?
Guy: If you only knew…
Jason: What?
Guy: … how much your dad loves you! You would at least have the heart to go tell him you’re quitting in person.
Jason: Eesh. Rather get shot with a flare…
Batman: Excuse me, are you and I gonna have a problem?
Green Lantern [Guy Gardner]: *pouring a drink* I mean, I’m sure we will at some point, but…
Green Lantern [John Stewart]: Guy. Mr…
Batman: Just “Batman”.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 