grumpy old kid – Page 91 – incorrect-batfamily-quotes

Barry: So, what’s Batman’s son like?

Hal: If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, that kid would be afraid of Robin.

Getting stranded up in the Himalayan Mountains while on a mission be like…

Red Robin: Look, I’m sure we’re not the only ones who need to be rescued. Plus, things could be a lot worse.

Red Hood: Yeah, how’s that?

Red Robin: We could be stuck here with Damian.

Introducing yourself to the Teen Titans be like…

Robin [to Starfire]: You think you’re in charge? It’s adorable just how wrong you are.

At Gotham Academy…

Tim: I’m Damian Wayne’s emergency contact.

Teacher: So, you’re here to pick him up?

Tim: I’m here to be removed as his emergency contact.

Red Hood [to thug]: I bark.

Red Hood: That kid there, see him? *points to Robin*

Red Hood: He bites.

Right before he gets viciously tackled to the ground by all 4-foot-something of pure, lean, League of Assassins-trained muscles…

Jason: Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?

When you’re trying to turn over a new leaf but your brothers miss the “chaotic-but-fun” you…

Jason: What is that?

Tim: *wiggles his eyebrows* Looks like a fuse.

Jason: All right, what exactly are you planning?

Dick: We’re planning to get you back. We want our brother back, the way he used to be.

Damian: Todd, we are well aware of how much you used to like fire, explosions…

Damian: *hands Jason a lighter*

Jason: *stares at it*

Jason: Nice try. That was a long time ago.

Tim: Really?

Jason:

Jason: *looks at the fuse again*

Jason: So, where does this go?

Dick: Well, I suppose you could find out by crawling over the fence and following the fuse. Or you could find out… *grinning* the Jason way.

Tim: We’re sure that you’ll make the right decision.

Jason: Guys, I’m telling you. Things are different now! I’m an adult, I have responsibilities. I’m just not a sixteen-year-old maniac anymore who –

Jason: *hears a click, then sees that his hand has already flicked the lighter on and is holding it to the fuse*

Jason: Huh. Interesting.

Sorting stacks of old case files at the Batcave…

Dick: You know I think we’re making some real progress.

Tim: Where, in opposite world? We’re never gonna finish all this!

Damian: We could if certain people would help. -Tt-

Jason: *standing behind stacks of cardboard boxes* I’m sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.

In the middle of a jungle mission and both of Tim’s legs are broken…

Robin: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!

Red Hood: We have to. Tim, I’m sorry –

Red Robin: No, you’re not.

Red Hood: I am, actually, which whatever, but –

Robin: *cocks and aims one of Jason’s guns at him* We are not leaving Drake!

Red Hood: What do you even think you’re doing?

Robin: I AM TAKING COMMAND!

Red Hood and Red Robin: *look at each other*

Red Hood and Red Robin: *laugh hysterically*

Red Hood: Oh my goodness! *wiping tears from his eyes* Okay. Thanks, little D. I think we needed that.

Red Robin: *clutching his belly and sighing blissfully* We did. We really did.