Telling your teammates about your little brother be like…
Cassie: You… you know you’re describing a dog, right?
Tim: He did bite me once.
Tag: grumpy old kid
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *staring out the kitchen window*
Damian: *grins to himself*
Alfred: Master Damian, your food’s ready.
Jason: No, no, what are you doing? He’s both happy and quiet. It’s like seeing a unicorn and Bigfoot at the same time.
How to really hurt your little brother (or fight dirty)…
Damian: *storming out*
Jason: Damian, wait!
Jason: Dobby the Elf dies in book seven.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Jason, *gasp*!
Why Robin went on patrol with a wedgie…
Damian [to Steph]: Thanks to you, I know better than to ask if you’re menstruating. And, based on your behavior, I don’t have to.
Steph: I’m just a blonde monkey to you, aren’t I?
Damian: You said it, not me.
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not accompany Damian gift shopping?
Damian [to employee]: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Employee: Excuse me?
Damian: Here. *hands gift basket to employee* Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Employee: I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and you’re making me a little uncomfortable.
Jason: *grabs Damian by the scruff of his neck*
Jason: See, sounds just like you and Raven. We’ll take it.
Jason: *takes the gift basket and drags Damian away*
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not take care of the flu-ridden Batbrat?
Red Hood: *stops his motorcycle in front of The Cheesecake Factory*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Why didn’t you just have soup at home?
Damian: Todd, I have an IQ of 187. Pennyworth is on vacation. Don’t you imagine that if there were a way for me to have soup at home I would have thought of it?
Red Hood: You can have soup delivered.
Damian: *blows his nose*
Damian: I did not think of that.
When you discover a tracking device in your suit…
Dick: You’re having separation anxiety, Damian. Admit it.
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: I admit, I sleep better with that little red dot telling me where you are.
When your little brother’s just a little too attached to his pets…
Damian: *enters the Batcave carrying Alfred the Cat and pulling Batcow by a leash*
Damian: Can you take a cat and a cow to the theater?
Jason: Uhhh, no?
Tim: Of course not.
Damian: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
When all the grown-up PDA is just starting to make you belch…
Koriand’r: I must go, I must go. But not without a kiss.
Dick: Well, maybe I won’t kiss you, and then you’ll have to stay.
Damian: *muttering* Kiss her! Kiss her!
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