Tag: grumpy old kid

Jason: Did you know that fencing goes back to the twelfth century?

Damian: Fencing? Pfft. Do you know what’s even nerdier than fencing? Knowing when it began.

Tim: I don’t think you’re a nerd, Jay –

Jason and Damian: Shut up, dork!

At a “field trip” to S.T.A.R. Labs…

Jason: *poking at the reptilian creature on his head* This feels so weird. What does it eat?

Scientist: Oh, just human brains.

Damian: Well, at least Todd has nothing to worry about.

Mar’i: *cradling a dead bird and sobbing*

Jason: I’ve been through this before, Sweetheart. When your Uncle Damian was fourteen, I was supposed to take care of his parakeet. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.

Mar’i: DAAAADDDDYYY!!!

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

In which Dick (reluctantly) reconsiders caffeine-addicted Uncle Tim for babysitting.

Bruce and Talia: *watching as their son gracefully decapitates animal-shaped shrubbery on the Manor grounds*

Talia: It’s a good time to tell you that I dropped Damian on his head when he was one.

And so we are thankful for this thing called “character development”.

When your father and grandfather leave you and your brothers alone at the Manor…

Damian: *sees “52 missed calls” on his cellphone screen*

Damian: -Tt-

Damian: How irresponsible do they think we are?

Jason: *shrugs* Sometimes Alfred leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.

“Super Sons”, a summary…

Robin: We are having fun.

Superboy: *carrying Damian on his back while sprinting through the jungle as killer androids chase after them* You are! I’m just doing what you’re making me do!

At Red Hood’s safe house…

Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*

Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!

Dick and Barbara: *watching Damian jump from one gigantic memento to another in the Batcave*

Barbara: He is kind of adorable.

Dick: I know! Isn’t he? Remember when Jason was like this?

Jason: What the heck do you people say when I’m not here?