Why certain family celebrations are avoided at Wayne Manor…
* upside-down, blurry images of a four-foot-something-tall adolescent boy pouncing on a scrawny teenage guy; a muffled mixture of screaming and hooting sounds in the background; a gruff voice angrily yelling, “Enough!” *
Duke: *tries to hold the camera steady*
Duke: Aaaaand the birthday video becomes a nature film.
Tag: grumpy old kid
When your billionaire father’s also a vigilante who doesn’t have time to ponder how much gifts for teenagers cost…
Tim: Bruce, um, can I have some money to buy Damian a birthday present?
Bruce: Here you go.
Tim: *counts the money* Bruce, this is $110!
Bruce: Oh, sorry. *hands him the whole wallet*
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Maybe he’s trying to keep you from sneaking out and going to Kent Farm at 3 AM again? *shrugs*
Wayne Foundation gala…
Alfred: Now, look, boys, the mayor is going to be at this fête, so I want you to show your father some love and/or respect.
Damian: Tough choice.
Jason: I’m picking respect.
Damian: I’m human!
Jason: *shrugs* In your own way.
When the Batmobile goes missing…
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: *strips off the gag covering Jason’s mouth* I asked you to watch over your little brother.
Jason: *tied to the gigantic Joker card* I tried to stop Damian, but he overpowered me!
Not obvious enough, Bruce?
Jason: Young man, since you broke Tim’s teeth, he gets to break yours.
Tim: *wipes blood off his mouth and cracks his knuckles* This is gonna be sweet.
Damian: *sneers*
In which Bruce, Alfred, and Dick never leave Jason to “babysit” his younger brothers again.
First rule of Bat Club…
Three sparring sessions later…
Damian: Ah, Todd, don’t feel bad for losing. I’ve been wrestling wolves since I was at my mother’s teat.
And he’s being painfully literal.
When the Teen Titans won’t take your leadership seriously…
Robin: *storming out of the Tower conference room* I’ll show them who’s “just a kid”!
Nightwing: *yelling from across the hall* Damian, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!
Damian: Drake.
Tim: Brat. The bet ends today. Are you ready?
Damian: I was born ready.
Tim: To lose? The whole question was, “Are you ready to lose?” and you said you were born that way.
Damian: Twist my words all you want.
Tim: Okay.
Damian: I’m winning this bet.
Jason: What bet? What’re you guys talking about?
Dick: Seriously? The bet? They’ve been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doin’ all day?
Jason: Nothin’. Why, you wanna hang out?
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