Picking your little brother up from a kid’s birthday party (also known as the family’s attempt to teach him how to socialize) be like…
Dick: *watches as a 5-foot-8-inch 14-year-old runs away*
Damian: I messed up, Grayson. He ran away, he got scared.
Dick: Why would he get scared?
Damian: Because I threatened him with a sword. I lightly threatened him with a sword.
Dick: I can’t believe you bugged my apartment, Little D! That’s terrible!
Damian: No, “terrible” is having to listen to you and that moron West yammer on for four hours about which sandwich you would bring if you were stranded on an island.
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *cutting down animal-shaped shrubs on the lawn with a katana*
Dick: *watches Damian through the kitchen window while eating his cereal*
Dick: *grins* His quirks just make you love him more.
Alfred: *blinks*
Alfred: *continues cooking omelettes*
Jason: *aggressively stuffs his mouth with pancakes*
Tim: *chokes on his coffee*
Bruce: *hides behind the Gotham Gazette*
Dick:
Dick: Someone please agree with me.
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *cutting down animal-shaped shrubs on the lawn with a katana*
Dick: *watches Damian through the kitchen window while eating his cereal*
Dick: *grins* His quirks just make you love him more.
Alfred: *blinks*
Alfred: *continues cooking omelettes*
Jason: *aggressively stuffs his mouth with pancakes*
Tim: *chokes on his coffee*
Bruce: *hides behind the Gotham Gazette*
Dick:
Dick: Someone please agree with me.
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *pouring Tim a cup of coffee*
Tim: Is that poison?
Damian: It’s decaffeinated, Drake.
Tim: Oh, are you trying to kill me?
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *pouring Tim a cup of coffee*
Tim: Is that poison?
Damian: It’s decaffeinated, Drake.
Tim: Oh, are you trying to kill me?
Mornings at the Manor (and it’s Jason’s turn to cook breakfast)…
Tim: *takes a bite* It tastes familiar.
Dick: Uhhh… Beef?
Tim: No.
Jason Chicken? I’ll take chicken.
Damian: What does it taste like, Drake?
Tim: Despair.
Dick:
Jason:
Damian:
Jason: Is it possible that it just needs salt?
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *chowing down three separate bowls of cereals, talking with his mouth full* Why do people eat anything besides breakfast food?
Damian: *looking on disgustedly as milk and fruit bits splatter onto Dick’s shirt* Because people are idiots, Grayson.
When your brothers ask you what Batman’s mission-send-off hug was like…
Red Hood: *dazed* It was firm but tender…
Nightwing: *smirking*
Red Hood: I saw through space and time for a moment…
Red Robin and Robin: *giggling and elbowing each other*
Red Hood: But that’s not the point!!!
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: full-on belly laughter*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
You know you miss those hugs, Li’l Wing.
On Damian’s first day at Gotham Academy…
Bruce: *frantic* Alfred, what are you talking about? I put everything he had into his backpack! What did I forget?
Alfred: His backpack, Master Bruce.
Or that one time Bruce went into Dad Mode.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 