Sneaking into your little brother’s room while he’s away on a mission with Superboy be like…
Tim: *examining the different types of blades splayed on Damian’s bed*
Jason: *tiptoeing on the carpet and looking around the room* Maybe let’s not touch anything until we figure out if his stuff wants to kill us or not.
Talia: I am not just your mother, and you are not a child.
Damian: I never was.
In which Little D could use a Dick Grayson hug right about now.
Red Hood: *wiping blood away from his busted lip* You made one big mistake, you ancient dirtbag.
Ra’s al Ghul: And what was that?
Red Hood: You pissed off your grandson.
Robin: *spits out a broken tooth and cracks his knuckles*
Damian: *walks away after insulting Jason*
Jason: He’s a mean kid.
Tim: So, what? You’re mean, too.
Jason: Yes, but not to you!
Tim: Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.
Jason: That was… constructive criticism.
Tim: Well, what am I supposed to do about it, Jay?!
Jason: As a brother, my job is only to point things out.
Conner: Tim, have you ever been beaten up before?
Tim: Yeah, sure.
Conner: By someone besides Damian?
Damian: You are the worst vacation-taker in the world!
Damian: *stomps up the stairs, goes to his bedroom, and slams the door shut*
Bruce:
Alfred:
Bruce: *shrugs*
Alfred: *sighs, shakes his head, and walks away*
So your father left a realistic blow-up version of himself inside the tent then went off-planet to respond to a Justice League S.O.S. while you roasted marshmallows and waited six hours for him to come out and regale you with stories of his early vigilante days by a campfire…
He still loves you, kid.
Interrogation 101, part 2…
Robin: Well, should I beat the answer out of you?
Criminal: No, thanks. I’ll talk.
Robin: -Tt-
Bat-terrogation.
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Damian: Drake, what’s your middle name?
Tim: “Danger”.
Dick: Something with a ‘J’…
Jason: It’s “Jackson”. Wow, I’m so sad I know that.
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