grumpy old kid – Page 71 – incorrect-batfamily-quotes

When concern over your sleep-deprived brother leads you to search his room and find a shady, little bag of…

Damian: *grabbing Tim by the lapel and shaking him furiously* Are you on dope, Drake? Are you?

Dick: Because we can help get you clean! There’s counseling, hospitalization –

Jason: And my foot kicking your ass!

For your information, it’s a special coffee formula that can keep him awake for an entire week, but he appreciates you kicking down his door and ransacking his room at three in the morning.

Jason: *faces the camera after watching Tim tackle Damian to the ground as the latter yells insults at the former*

Jason: So, my brothers are, like, fighting all the time and they want me to choose sides. *lights a cigarette and takes a drag* But I can’t. Because they’re both idiots.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Nightwing: *on the Comm Link* Tim’s going to be okay, Bruce. He’s only stunned.

Nightwing: *mutes Comm Link* You didn’t kill him, right?

Robin: Of course not.

Nightwing: *unmutes Comm Link* He’s only stunned.

Tim: So… Where did Damian come from?

Dick: Oh… Somewhere in Nanda Parbat, I think.

Tim: No, I meant tonight. In the Batcave. Suddenly. Into our lives.

When your brothers presesure you to hang out with them…

Tim: I kind of have plans.

Dick: You have another family?

Tim: Yeah, I, uh… I have a date.

Damian: You have a date?

Tim: Yes! I have a date.

Dick: With a… girl?

Tim: No, with a crouton. *rolls eyes* What is so strange about me having a date?

Jason: With a crouton?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the safe house…

Doorbell: *buzzes*

Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.

Roy: How do you know?

Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.

Dick: *knocking on Tim’s bedroom door* Come on!

Damian: Drake! Open up. We would like to speak to you.

Tim: *muffled* I don’t feel like talking!

Dick: Oh, come on, Timmy, we care about you!

Cass: We’re worried about you.

Jason: And some of us really have to pee!

Robin: When it comes to stupidity, I would not underestimate Todd.

When you’re weary from patrol and craving for some shut-eye only to find intruders in your safe house…

Red Hood: …

Nightwing: *rummaging through the cabinets*

Red Robin: *installing security cameras in the living room*

Robin: *examining the samurai swords hanging on the wall*

Red Hood: I gave you my passcode for emergencies.

Robin:

Red Robin:

Nightwing: We were out of Doritos.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…

Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*

Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*

Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*

Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!

Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!

Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?