Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*

Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*

Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.

Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?

Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!

Nightwing: Damian, um… The mission that I’m leaving for tomorrow… It’s actually a lot longer than I let on.

Robin: What, Grayson, like three days?

Nightwing: No…

Robin: Four days?

Nightwing: Six months.

Robin: Five days?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.

Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…

Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…

Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.

Sometimes all it takes is a little pep talk from your favorite brother.

Dick: *walks past Tim and Damian’s shared bedroom*

Dick: *hears loud thuds, scraping noises and muffled insults*

Dick: *knocks gently on the door* How’s it going in there?

Tim & Damian: GO AWAY!

Jason: *lights a cigarette by his doorway across from theirs* Wow. They kinda harmonized on that. Cool.