Damian: Drake, is there anyway you can change your entire personality?
Tim: *deadpan* I can try.
Damian: Even the way you said that annoyed me.
Damian: Drake, is there anyway you can change your entire personality?
Tim: *deadpan* I can try.
Damian: Even the way you said that annoyed me.
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
Nightwing: Damian, um… The mission that I’m leaving for tomorrow… It’s actually a lot longer than I let on.
Robin: What, Grayson, like three days?
Nightwing: No…
Robin: Four days?
Nightwing: Six months.
Robin: Five days?
Jason: Kid, I’m not scared of you. Life’s too good. I’m untouchable.
Damian: *cracks his knuckles* That’s what I hoped you’d say.
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
Sometimes all it takes is a little pep talk from your favorite brother.
At Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*
Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!
Dick: Why is your mouth red?
Jason: Duct-taped for two hours in a morgue drawer, don’t piss off the tiny brat, end of story.
Tim: *gesturing to Goliath* Why the giant bat?
Damian: Why the stupid face?
Tim: Touché.
“Super Sons”, a summary…
Robin: We are having fun.
Superboy: *carrying Damian on his back while sprinting through the jungle as killer androids chase after them* You are! I’m just doing what you’re making me do!
Dick: *walks past Tim and Damian’s shared bedroom*
Dick: *hears loud thuds, scraping noises and muffled insults*
Dick: *knocks gently on the door* How’s it going in there?
Tim & Damian: GO AWAY!
Jason: *lights a cigarette by his doorway across from theirs* Wow. They kinda harmonized on that. Cool.