Imagine: Damian, asking advice from Alfred.
Come to think of it, that’s actually Ra’s al Ghul he’s talking to…
Tag: grumpy old kid
Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Teaching your older brother an ancient form of meditation sacred to a line of assassins be like…
Damian: I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind.
Jason: Okay.
Damian: Embrace nothingness.
Jason: You got it.
Damian: Become like an uncarved stone.
Jason: Done.
Damian: Todd! You’re just pretending to know what I’m talking about!
Jason: True.
Damian: -Tt- It’s very frustrating!
Jason: I’ll bet.
Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*
Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.
Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.
Nightwing: *winks*
Red Robin: *grins*
Robin: *salutes*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.
Damian: Who here has been the butt of a joke that has gone too far?
Tim: Brat, you make fun of us everyday.
Jason: Yeah. Every. Single. Day.
Damian: You never said anything.
Steph: Uh, we have. Countless times.
Damian: Well, it’s hard to tell the difference between you inferior people saying, “Stop! Because I want you to stop!” and “Stop!”, as in “Stop! You’re making making me laugh so hard! What you’re doing is so funny! You’re on a roll, I’m a busting a gut! Stoppp!”.
Jason, Tim, Steph: That’s never been the case.
Post-traning session at the Manor…
Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*
Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*
Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*
Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.
Sometime during the “In the Name of the Father” story arc…
Damian: *looks out of window using binoculars* Some van just pulled up. And these suspicious characters are getting out.
Jon: That is a school bus, Damian. And those are my classmates.
Overnight visits at the Manor be like…
Jason: Well, goodnight, Little D.
Damian: Oh, goodnight, Todd. Sleep tight. There’s a bus schedule underneath your pillow.
Dick: *walks past Tim and Damian’s shared bedroom*
Dick: *hears loud thuds, scraping noises and muffled insults*
Dick: *knocks gently on the door* How’s it going in there?
Tim & Damian: GO AWAY!
Jason: *lights a cigarette by his doorway across from theirs* Wow. They kinda harmonized on that. Cool.
Damian: I can’t do this without you.
Tim: *grins* Yeah, we do make a pretty good team.
Damian: No, really. I can’t reach the doorknob.
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